How important are kids clubs?

[CinnamonRedwing]

I have 2 DS (11 & 9). DS1 has always done a couple of clubs (team sports mostly). He gets the benefit of the exercise, meeting people he will likely go to high school with & has also had that experience of getting over the first time nerves of meeting new people.

DS2 has struggled to find a club that interests him. He has no interest in team sports. He's tried things like karate, Cubs & climbing club. He'll do the block of lessons but then they just don't hold his interest. He's enjoyed a couple of things like a kids fitness club & a coding club but they were just temporary things through the school & we haven't found anything else like that in the area.

For background - He's a sociable, likeable kid. Has friends & is confident in that group. He's fit & active & does plenty of running around in the street/playing tig at school/swimming/Park etc.

He goes to a pretty small school so I worry about him not knowing many people when he goes to high school. Most of his peers do clubs in the area where the high school is so will know lots of other kids.

He also isn't great at settling into a new club socially. Generally one of the kids there will be a bit unkind because he's the new kid & then DS will be forever annoyed about it & he won't want to go back. I've tried to explain that he's maybe got to ride that out until he isn't the new kid anymore. I think he maybe would persevere if the club truly interested him but the combination of lack of interest plus being annoyed puts him off.

He has plenty of interests - art, reading, writing, cinema, climbing, swimming etc but just wants to do it ad hoc either himself, with his brother or a friend.

Anyway that's a long-winded way of asking...how important do people consider kids clubs to be? Should I keep persevering to find something that interests him? Or leave him to his own devices?

I would say that at the moment you are finding him active and out playing etc. but as he goes in to secondary and going out to play is less of a thing. You may find he needs something else to occupy his time.

it may depend on his friends who live near by , but one of mine is very similar to how you describe. and it’s difficult as a lot of his friends have official activities they do so nobody is around to kick a ball with, they are all away doing swimming competitions or football matches. So unless he can occupy himself at home with projects, like learning music and reading books. You may find he ends up doing a lot of gaming.

it sounds like you have tried a lot already though so not sure what left to try. Other than perhaps drama or cadets?

My view is that it's beneficial for all dc, but boys especially, to have a physical hobby into their teens. It gives them a social and physical activity outlet, a sense of identity and achievement, and a broader range of friends than school. There are all sorts of different sports out there so the key is just trying tasters for different ones.

Depends on the child. My oldest does tennis, but not much else. he’s a complete introvert though, so that’s ok.
Youngest does about a million different clubs (all dance/performing arts). he’s an extrovert and wants to go to a performing arts secondary, so a completely different child.

Thanks for your replies. I would like him to have some sort of physical activity for when he outgrows playing in the street. Will keep looking for other things for him!

What about cubs/scouts?

I don't think I can answer your question but DD1 was like this. We tried everything, she would attend the first term and then never return. Persevered until the end of yr 6. She is sociable, likeable, is active has hobbies interests but never enjoyed structured activities. DD2 on the other hand loves them. The major difference between them now being a little older - DD1 has no resilience. DD2 isn't phased by anything.

I was going to say he sounds busy, happy and active so that’s fine but pp is right, he may become less active as he ages. One advantage of high school is they offer a bunch of activities to get involved in. My dd who struggles socially is doing dance and drama as lunchtime clubs and choir after school one night. They also have lots of sports to get involved with and some other things like coding and chess.
If there isn’t anything he wants to start doing now I might wait a year and see how much he gets involved in the high school clubs.

Tried Cubs...
He's also tried Taekwondo, rugby, gym monkeys, art club, drama, street dance coding, kids fitness. The only thing he's persisted at is swimming because we insisted it was a life skill but he'd give up lessons in a heartbeat if we let him.

He's currently trying a 6 week block of climbing which he isn't keen to continue with but I think we might sign him up for another set just to see if we can get him used to not being the newbie.

Thanks - he does put himself forward for projects at school so I guess he may get involved in groups at High School if it's something that grabs his attention. Hopefully!

Yes, I do wonder if kids clubs are good at helping with resilience? DS1 generally let's little mean comments etc from other kids wash over him but DS2 can get very put out by that sort of thing & it definitely knocks his confidence

another one to try could be skate boarding if you have a place locally that has lessons. Once he gets going he can just go along as hoc. Doesn’t need to be a club. Which maybe he would prefer something less structured. The indoor skate parks are supervised normally with beginners sessions

Maybe he's just not too into sport at the moment. Has he tried learning an instrument?

Thanks for the suggestion. Not sure it would be his this but its one to think about

He's just started a musical instrument through school. He's not loving it but sticking with it for now!

I think it's important for kids D's to socialise via clubs.