Pre-school assessment for my child - feel like a crap parent

[Yorkshiremummy2023]

Firstly I'm probs wrong to feel this but just had a pre-school assessment back for my son who is 3.5 years old and it may help to get some perspective from others. Only things they could say were going well for him were - when he arrives at pre-school he cracks straight on and starts playing and is happy in himself, he's good at climbing (has spacial awareness?) and likes the outdoors.

Everything else you can think of though needs work - his speech, he's easily distracted,doesn't listen to instruction, he's still using nappies (although goes on a potty), he lacks confidence to join in group convos ...eurgh feel like the worst parent after reading this.

up to now we have let him steer the pace of a lot of this as he's still under 5. We go out and about regularly and always spend lots of time with other kids in parks etc as well as nursery.

I dont want to suddenly start rushing him to catch up and make him upset.

Any advice please either how to deal with these things there pointing out or how to process the assessment in your experiences ? 🙏 🙈

I like what @AnnaBlush wrote, lots of positives and totally agree re emotional stability. Your ds sounds great.
IF you aren’t already I would suggest reading daily to him, toys to promote fine motor skills - drawing and colouring in are good things to do and easy to facilitate and look to getting him fully potty trained.
Children do develop at different rates and it sounds like your ds is doing ok.

Ok..so he's performing as expected and they have identified next steps to work on....as they do for every child that doesn't mean he's behind. Often in assessments it's phrased as " not yet" "occasionally" or "consistently" or they say "emerging"
They don't do it for Ofsted as such but they are expected to know each child's starting points and how they are developing.

Definitely ditch nappies that will confuse him. Spend a few days at home in pants ...you can use traditional Terry lined training pants that minimise mess if you're worried. Allow him to feel his body and what wet is. Just remind him for the first day to try around every hour.

Sorry to have upset you OP, not intended at all, but you have to understand that people can only respond to the information you give us.
In your OP you said there were few things going well and everything else you can think of needs work but in your later post you said The majority he is 'as expected' they grade on ALOT of points.

Which clearly contradict each other.

As a pp said, It is ALWAYS worth getting hearing checked when there are any issues with speech articulation and with language development. Even more so now you have said he was prem.

Also, if you are worried about what they have said (and remember they are just ticking boxes in tracking his development and lifting phrases to use), then ask if you can arrange a meeting with the key person and the SENCo and have a proper chat about your concerns, their concerns, and any strategies you might be able to use, or any signposting they can do to get you a little support. Where I live, there is now quite a lot of Sp&L support that both Nurseries and Parents can access without having to be referred to SaLT and sit on a waiting list for 2 years.

They all have things they’re working on, as opposed to totally secure in. I would maybe think about a hearing check, speech and not being good in groups maybe suggests an issue but I wouldn’t be concerned about anything else.

There’s no reason not to try with potty training though, obviously he’s not going to develop initiative without you first going through the process of training. Most preschools work on the basis of taking the kids en masse regularly (ours calls it the toilet train and they make choo choo noises) because otherwise they just have accidents!

Go back and ask them
Do they have any strategies or suggestions
And can they refer him to slt for an assessment,?

You are just caring about him don’t feel bad at all. The worrying is a normal feeling. My own son was conceived via ivf after many years of losses so I totally get where you are coming from.

He is making progress with the toileting at home because he feels comfortable. Being in the classroom environment can be very distracting and intimidating. I lost count of the number of times children had accidents.

Just be reassured that everything you have written is well within the realm of what I’ve experienced. Speech, toileting etc.

One huge advantage for your son (that some children don’t have sadly) is that he obviously has well involved, proactive and caring parents 😊

Where did you get it was a private preschool?