2 and a half year old - how to deal with this phase?

[ttcchapter2]

Not listening, constant screaming and tantrums 🥹 at my wits end, we try to keep him entertained, different activities, break up the day, he naps fine, eats fine, but its just that difficult phase that I know I need to get through, but any tips??

Do you do 'toddler's choice'? Basically lots and lots of little choices where both options are fine for you: red shirt or blue one, toast or porridge for breakfast, shoes or coat on first? End result is that he's dressed, has had breakfast, and is ready to go out, but he's had a bit more control over it all – when you think about, toddlers' lives are micromanaged to an incredible degree. I've never quite reached the point of offering a choice between two identical teaspoons, but I would if necessary. Choices like flying or bouncing up the stairs have also headed off many a bedtime protest here.

Warnings that we're about to leave the park/get dressed/etc. also help. I do do in 5 minutes, in 2 minutes, in 1 minute even when they don't actually get the numbers yet. At the park we sometimes will count down goes on the slide or whatever instead. I also try to throw in something positive about the transition whenever I can, 'oh, let's go see the diggers on our way home!', 'oh, let's go home and we can have strawberries for snack!', and so on.

God they suck at this age. Dd was an absolute horror of the highest order - you have all my sympathy! If it helps they do get less awful quite quickly but it’s so tiring when you’re in the midst of it.

As pp suggested give them choices. These shoes or these boots? Do you want to have a cracker or a banana? Etc etc. it gives them power but in a controlled manner.

Disraction! I used to keep bouncy balls in my pocket and when Dd was about to lose it I’d produce one like a magic trick and bounce around the room - she loved it and it usually steered her away from a full blown meltdown. Yes to pointing out interesting things “oh my goodness is that a dinosaur???? Oh no it’s someone walking a dog” basically anything you can think of to stop them in their tracks.

Get him out and about for a good run around as much as possible and then an early bedtime so you can mentally prepare for the next day!

All the things @skkyelark said.

Plus slow down, toddlers react to too much pressure so don't over-program your day. Build in spare time so they can have a meltdown without it wrecking your schedule.

Buy cheap things from the charity shop as emergency distraction aids, keep them in your bag for crisis moments.

Trying to laugh about it helps, as does screaming into a pillow. Very tiring stage!

I'd agree with PP don't over structure his day, it might be that you're just doing too much keeping him entertained. Let him mooch. Let him chill. Let him lead the way. Cut back on activities.

And pick your battles.

Thanks everyone.

He does play on her own at home, quite dependant, I will definitely try the choices thing especially when its not worth the argument.

The constant screaming and moaning though and the energy.. when does it get better 😭