I have a DD 3.5y and DD 18months.
Up until DS was around 10ish months old I was quite proud of my parenting. I grew up in the ‘tough parent’ years, lots of shouting, smacked bums, threats of no dinner, throwing away toys, being shut in bedroom.. you get the gist.
It took a lot of really hard work from me to develop patience and understanding when my first was born; I follow my dad in temper and get overwhelmed and irritated easily. But I did really well to control it as I say up until DS started walking I guess. From that point, DD & DS squabble and bicker constantly and I’ve slipped my good habits and now find myself behaving the way my own parents did. I’ve thrown toys away for bad behaviour, I’ve threatened not to take them wherever we were supposed to go, I’ve refused sympathy and cuddles after shouting and tantrums. I’m not the parent I started as and I don’t like the parent I am now.
Especially with DD, I can see she finds it hard when DS is hovering around her or annoying her; he’s just playing and doesn’t understand when she’s getting annoyed so I don’t want to tell him off, but then I also want to show DD that I understand and help her.
I’m just at a complete loss now and I constantly feel guilty that either or child looks at me like I’m favouring the other. I just hate it and I have no idea how to get myself back.