DS and ‘best friend’

[MEK0506]

DS has just started reception and knows several other children due to previously going to the pre school located within the primary school. He has a ‘best friend’ from preschool who is now in his class and they are quite attached, they ask for each other as soon as we are in the play ground and he talks about him a lot!

Im a bit concerned about some of the things my DS comes home saying - in the first 3 weeks of school a few are:

• Friend whispers grown up words to me and tells me not to tell a teacher
• Friend tells me to put things from school into my pocket and take them home without the teacher seeing
• Another child from preschool wanted to play trains with me today, but ‘friend’ told him he isn’t allowed lots of times so he went away
• I wanted to stay inside and play with a toy but ‘friend’ told me I wasn’t allowed and got cross until I came to play outside

I have looked after this child a couple of times and he is mischievous by nature and is very confident compared to my DS, he seems to lead and expects my DS to follow. We always talk about his day and make sure we reiterate what is right from wrong, I feel he does understand and acknowledges when he is mean or naughty

Would you be concerned about this? Is this quite typical behaviour at this age or is this something worth discussing with his teacher?

I am secretly really hoping they drift apart a bit and explore other friendships but I can’t see it happening anytime soon

It sounds like they are very different kids, they are probably friends because they are familiar with each other. In your position I would also hope they drifted apart as you can see how your son where this will go.

I would just keep saying well you know not to take stuff from school etc. There is nothing wrong with widening your son’s social group with play dates.
You can always request a different class next year if you need to.

Very similar situation to mine, my DS is very attached to his best friend who would be quite dominant over him and my DS would follow. They've known each other a long time from daycare to Nursery now to reception. My DS would tell me his friend will leave him out in the playground when another child from a different class is there which is fine but as DS is so attached he doesn't make new friends.

I sent a message to the teacher and she invited me in for a chat. She was lovely and understanding and said she'd observed DS following and being directed by the other child and she sees this all the time especially in the first few weeks of reception. She advised they would be trying to separate them out (and other kids) to enable new friendships to form.
I found it really reassuring so would suggest speaking to the teacher about your concerns