Toddler DS terrified of swimming pool

[FrizzledFrazzle]

As it says in the title, my 15MO is really scared of the swimming pool. I love swimming, so I would really like to help him get over this fear so he can enjoy water. What would be a good approach to take?

I tried doing Water Babies when he was about 3 months old, but he hated it and was really scared. He would be whimpering and clinging to me for most of the lesson and would scream the place down if he got water on his face or was dunked in the water. I quit after about 5 sessions, after the instructor took DS from me to swim him around ... and then dunked him under, even though I'd asked him not to. DS came up screaming and coughing.

We didn't go back to a pool until last month, when were in holiday in a place with a small, warm toddler pool. I tried to take DS in the water and he totally freaked out, even with me just sitting on the steps holding him. He was leaning against me, clinging on and crying. Didn't like it when I walked across the (knee deep) pool carrying him to see a small fountain. Briefly stopped crying when I came out of the pool, sang a song about fish and showed him a picture of some fish on the wall. But cried when I went back over to the pool and pointed at the exit.

I'm not sure what to do. Is it better to leave it until he's more confident to try again l? Or keep taking him to a pool (risking more negative experiences) to try and build his confidence? What would be the best strategy to do this?

He likes his bath but not hair washing. He also doesn't have the same fear of the sea and will paddle/touch the water and sand at the edge (but doesn't like to get cold and wet). Will splash his hands in a paddling pool but doesn't like to get in it and cries if you put him in. Although tbh the summer was so crap we only tried a couple of times!

I'd leave it for now. Swimming is an important life skill but with toddlers everything is a phase so rather than forcing it give it another try in a few months.

When my youngest was about 2, his sister started lessons so I used to sit on the side with him, gradually we managed to get in to the pool with me holding him and eventually we we able to move around a bit. It took a lot of weeks and was very frustrating but we were there anyway so I thought I might as well. He ended up loving it and now it's one of his favorite activities. I probably wouldn't have bothered if we weren't there anyway. It took about 7 or 8 months to go from terrified to loving it but it was very gradual.

Thanks for the advice @eurochick and @Cakeandslippers. I think leaving pools for now is probably the best option. I'll keep encouraging him to have fun in the bath and at the seaside and we'll wait with swimming until he's a bit older.

I think one of the issues is that he likes to do things for himself, so is happy to step in the water at the edge of the sea, but doesn't feel confident to step down into the pool or be put into it by me.

I guess I was surprised and disappointed because most other babies I know took to swimming instantly and love it, so I assumed that because I love to swim he would just love it too. But I probably never went to a proper pool before I was 3, so there's plenty of time yet!

Next summer start with a paddling pool... then maybe take him to a splash pad... then a fun pool thats knee deep but has fountains and slides etc.

But he's young. Not going swimming as a toddler won't hold him back.

Maybe try a pool with a sloped entrance where he can get in on his own? Even if he just paddles at the edge it might give him a bit of confidence.

DD was afraid of the bath so we just washed her all over on a changing mat. It really doesn’t matter whether a 15 month old likes to go swimming. The pool is big and noisy. I would leave it till he is older and do other things with him.

I have a cousin who was like this at 18 months. I remember going on holiday and her screaming and refusing to go near the pool or sea and her parents saying was a regular occurrence (I was around 18 at the time). Her mother didn’t force it, she was ready to go in when around 3, started lessons at 5 and swimming well by the age of 7

Just to give you some hope it doesn’t last

Try taking them at quiet times. If you can take in a little toy watering can or pool toys. We just took watering can and some little squirter things just used for the pool. He had goggles. Similar was terrified as a small child so dad would take my idler sons in to play and my son and i would sit at the side and play in the water I took a long time for him to go in but no pressure it was his choice and he was a limpet when he did decide to go in.

still doesn’t like getting hair or face wet, can’t swim so working on that.

Poor baby, he likely remembers the instructor dunking him and that is making him more afraid as the trust is broken.

My DD now aged 9 was like this as a baby (she’s just been diagnosed with autism). She’s only now started showering instead of taking a bath. I used to give her a dry washcloth to hold over her face as a ‘face protector’ when washing her hair.

Similarly, she was afraid of the swimming pool as a tot. I sort of gradually graduated her from the bath to a garden paddling pool to sitting in the shallows of a swimming pool that had a slope in…so it was like an artificial beach? So can go from ankle deep to knee deep. Then age 3-4 she’d walk around the shallows waist high holding a kick board for balance (with her toys riding on top like it was a boat).

We got her goggles then as “eye protectors” because she complained about other children splashing and if water got on her face that was it, swim time over, time to go home as far as she was concerned. The goggles then meant she didn’t mind the splashing so much and for next few years she just played in the shallow end and I could take her to a regular pool that didn’t have the down slope in.

I started swim lessons at age 7 and told the instructor that she had her fear and that she wouldn’t be putting her face in or under the water. That I’d didn’t care about her doing a ‘stroke’ correctly or getting levels but only that she be able to swim as a life skill. She’s 9 and with the autism diagnosis it was explained to me that some autistic children have sensory issues around water on their hair and face. Not saying your child is autistic, just that explains my child’s fear of water on their face.

Thank you for the reassurance that this is likely to pass eventually!

I think going to a pool with a sloped entrance like a beach might be good - there's one near my family so we can hopefully give it a go next summer.

I'll try and keep his interest in water pouring etc in the bath and by the sea. Might also try tackling the water in face fear with some splashing games in the bath (may live to regret this!) and a bit of positive reinforcement!