Hi all.
DD is 9 just gone into year 5 and I would describe her as a kind child but not very assertive at all and lacks confidence.
We've seen CAHMS before for sleeps issues but they said she is anxious/ has anxiety which peaks a troughs at times.
As with every September going back to school her anxiety heightens and usually calms a bit within a few weeks.
She's always 'had friends' and gets invited to parties etc however she has struggled with friendship groups, never really had a proper best friend, never first to be chosen for games etc.
There are a group of girls who are very assertive and can be a mean at times. Lord knows why DD seems to gravitate towards them, but always has over the years even though a certain few would deliberately leave her out or wind her up etc.
Anyway - this year the bigger group of friends has split - 3 girls in one camp and 4 in the other, and then DD.
Group of 3 always let her join in and ask her to play at break - other group DD seems to want to be in but they'll say - you can't play with us today, maybe tomorrow. Or just straight up no go away.
I had to say to DD today - why are you bothering with the mean girls when the nice ones always let you join in. Don't ditch the nice ones to try and get to play with with mean ones as eventually the nice ones won't want to be 2nd best. Lots of tears. I'm trying to help her see that not everyone wants to be your friend but when a lovely group of girls do want to spend time with you - why is it even a question of what to do?
DD is a bit immature and I've been trying to get /let her do slightly more grown up things which she seems to like and takes to - I feel like with only 2 years left at primary she needs to grow up a bit and realise life can be tough and to stand tall and not let others decide whether she's good enough for them that day or not.
Am I being mean? Has anyone else had to give their child a push to know their worth and not be a doormat? Or to help them grow up a bit in terms of being resilient and dealing with people mugging them off for want of a better term?
Sorry it's so long! Any ideas on how to help DD (and me to navigate this) would be much appreciated!