3rd child

[Spinderellaseverywhere]

Hi,

Not sure why I’m posting really as I know the sensible answer. I have 2 DS- 7 and 3. I had a hard time with both births and my second was 11 weeks premature.

We are currently doing our house up and there will be enough room for everyone to have a bedroom. We are financially comfortable but careful- can’t really splurge but have enough to not worry too much about everyday spends etc.

Why do I still want a third?! I don’t know if it’s some desire for a girl but I would also love an extra DS so maybe not! I can’t work it out. I just feel really sad that I won’t experience that time again and I would love another child.

I know deep down it’s not a good idea given my last one was premature as it’s more likely to happen again and I need to be well for the children I’ve got but how can I accept this?

My friend announced that she’s pregnant recently and I felt a bit jealous! I am aware that I’m very lucky to have the two I have got and appreciate that every day.

help!

I’ve got no advice sorry but my baby was also 11 weeks premature. She’s only 5 months now and we’ve said no more because of the problems we had but I do wonder if in years to come whether I’ll be wanting another. Do you know why yours was premature that early and whether it would be likely to happen again?

Edit: Sorry I see you said it would likely happen again. I’d be terrified of risking it.

We had 2 boys then a surprise baby girl (boys were 4 and 2 when she was born).
it’s chaos and loud but she absolutely and totally completes our family and I get chills if I ever think about the fact we may not have had her. I cannot imagine a life without her.
They are a proper little gang (she’s almost 3 now). They say you’ll never regret a child you have…
best mistake we ever made!

@BellaTheDarkOverlord

there was no ‘cause’ found but statistically with a previous preterm birth it’s more likely to happen again. Doesn’t mean it would though of course. I also don’t really fancy going through weeks of NICU with 2 older children but my irrational brain still would for a third child 🤦‍♀️

@Spinderellaseverywhere They never mentioned a cause for mine either. Do what’s best for you and family. If you do decide to try again you should be looked after more due to the previous issues. I know what’s it’s like spending weeks/months in a neonatal unit watching then grow in an incubator x

Get a sheet of paper and write reasons to have a 3rd child and reasons not to.

A 3rd child can really tip you over the edge in lots of ways …think about it everything in uk is set up for 2 parents and 2 children - most houses, cars, holiday packages and train seating. Now i have 1 kid but my sister has 3 and she told me how hard it was to go from 2 kids to 3 for the reasons i mentioned ….

Personally you should stick to 2 for an easier and cheaper life all around. Anyway no one needs more then 1-2 kids in this over crowded world of ours!

That’s grate but there is no guarantee you will end up with the gender you want! I know a lot of mums this has happened to.