A bit worried DS is really behind. Can anyone give me any ideas about what’s normal?

[Lavendermintblue]

We have had our checks by the HV, but she didn’t actually meet DS and he does seem very behind with his language/verbal skills compared to some (in all honesty I’d say nearly all) children his age. He is 2 years 9 months, turning 3 just before Christmas.

He has a lot of words and speaks in sentences but these are related word for word from us, he doesn’t really engage in reciprocal conversation or dialogue. So if you ask him a question he won’t really answer or he might answer incorrectly. He used to tell me when he had had a poo but now if I ask him he says yes even if he hasn’t. If you ask him what he wants for dinner he won’t answer at all or if I give choices he says yes or no to the last thing, so if I said do you want pasta or beans he would say yes or no beans.

It does make life tricky as we can’t always communicate. I know there’s a big variation at this age and no one has mentioned any concerns to me (he attends nursery for three days a week and has since he was 10 months). I just assumed by 3 (I know he isn’t there yet!) we’d be talking to one another a bit more?

I peeform developmental assessments professionally, at nearly 3 I would expect some knowledge of verbs ( things like running/ swimming). Also to be able to follow a 2 step instruction without gesture eg: " go and get your coat, then give it to Mummy". Could he do that ?

Echolalia.
I would suggest getting a full SLT assessment.and overall assessment like bayley scale of infsnt development to see abilities and any issues.
Speak to nursery for them to refer but if you can get a private assessment it might be quicker and push ahead any input needed.
Better to assess now and get any input needed

(Or find out no concerns)

I don’t think he has ASD. Obviously, never say never but I do know my way around autism and he really isn’t showing any signs or indicators. I think it’s possible there’s some delayed speech, but he is speaking a lot, so hard to tell.

@Goldencup he does yes, jumping, swimming, crying etc. And he can carry our instructions (although sometimes chooses not to!)

I agree sounds like a speech rather than broader developmental problem, can he play with other children like waiting his turn on a slide ?

Can you request an in person hv appointment, or ring the gp and ask for a development check as you are concerned?

@Goldencup - he can, it’s definitely been a challenge but ‘taking turns’ works better than sharing (he still thinks his turn should be longer than everyone else’s, though ) I think nursery are my best bet as the GP/HV would only get a snapshot of him, they know him best I would say.

Hi, @Lavendermintblue

My son is exactly the same age.

He's speech delayed. We've had lots of words coming in the last few months but sentences are very basic - Daddy car all gone, thank you nunch (lunch) mummy.

His pronunciation is not clear at all. Some words are ok but some are so off I'm not sure what he means. His understanding is very good, even for more complicated instructions.

Sorry I haven't read every post but just to say we've been working with the HV (although it was useless as she said we are already modelling language the way we should) so no progress there. He's just had a hearing test after a year of pushing and waiting and all is fine with this hearing. Apparently this is usually the first thing to check.

We're now on the waiting list for NHS SALT. But thankfully my parents have offered to pay for some private therapy in the meantime. He starts pre school in Nov which will be his first childcare setting experience, I'm hoping it will help.

Other children the same age are speaking clearly and conversing really well. My 16 month niece is saying words more clearly already than my son ever has.

It's heart breaking to be honest as he is such a bright, happy little boy. I am worried he Will fall behind in his development but am desperately hoping speech therapy and pre school will help.

I think best to have a chat with nursery soon rather than wait for parents evening. Try ringing your HV and seeing what they think. Also worth contacting a private speech and language therapist, even if it’s just for an initial one-off assessment as I know ongoing therapy is not cheap. The waitlist for NHS support will be long, but a private assessment may be worth it even if it just reassures you that he is on track.

There’s no point ringing the HV, like I say, she has never met DS.

I did speak to nursery briefly when I picked him up who were really reassuring, so I’m feeling a lot happier about things. They have no concerns about him, which is a relief.

I see what you mean, I spoke to 3 different HVs over several months regarding concerns with my DD and they reassured me each time and didn’t seem overly concerned. And now she’s nearly 3 and most likely autistic and still has no words. But GP has been helpful and we’ve recently started private speech and language therapy and I wish we could have started sooner.

It’s good that nursery are not concerned.

Obviously I don't know if there's a reason for your son's speech issues. I know people might mention ASD etc but I do know that some kids develop more complex speech skills later on.
For example, my DH didn't start talking properly until he was 3.5. His parents were very worried and took him to a specialist. Anyway, he was absolutely fine. He's now a professor, he's extremely articulate. He's actually fluent in four different languages so I'd say his speech skills are better than average. Definitely no signs of ASD.
Also, there's a boy in my son's class who had real difficulty speaking even in reception. His mum told me "He just can't talk" when he was nearly five. He's now in year 6 and the most articulate boy. He's very clever, funny and popular. A brilliant musician.
I'm just giving these examples because late speech is not always a sign of a wider problem.

Seeking an assessment is not going to hold your child back
if they do need input then getting it early is best