Swimming...waste of money?

[Freubarch]

After taking my eldest swimming as a baby and throwing the towel in when he became insanely defiant (screaming in the pool, refusing to be held but would drown if I let go, etc) we started it again after he turned 3. I found it hard to commit on a weekend morning when there is always something on or he's sick (my husband and I work during the week so weekends are the only option).
After a few months break we are trying again, however I'm finding it impossible to get him there consistently! There are ALWAYS birthday parties, an onslaught of viruses from childcare and general things that happen like other events, weekend trips etc. If he hasn't slept well the night before it's bound to ruin the lesson as he will be too tired to manage the whole being without the parent in the pool thing.
I'm ready to give up again but feel guilty for not persisting! It's just a lot of money to spend on something which is incredibly hit or miss
How do other parents make this work??

Wait till he's about 6 or so and able to listen and follow instructions. Put him in small group lessons. Key being small so he gets lots of swim time. He will make progress much faster.

We always choose a first thing on Sunday swimming lesson, starts around 9.30am, done by 10am and then any birthday parties are usually starting 11am at the earliest.

I do think it's a good idea to do swimming lessons, they do them at school from year 3 but our school it's only 10 weeks and each session is only 20 minutes long with lots of kids so they really don't learn much or progress far in that time.

Swimming is in my mind a really important skill so we have persisted even though it's not always easy to fit into a busy week and DD doesn't always love the idea of going.

Why not give lessons a miss and take him for an unscheduled fun swim when you have time. Get in the pool with him and play games and have fun.

Lessons can be boring and a chore. Why put him off swimming when it's something that can be good fun.

I did this with my kids and then they had lessons later after they were already happy and confident in the water.

My DD has been going to lessons without a parent in the pool since she was about 3.5, before then she did Water Babies. She loved Water Babies until about 2 months or so before we moved her, she stopped joining in then and was just messing about etc. We thought waste of money then and we would try her in 'proper' classes for a few weeks and shelve it til she was older if she wouldn't engage.

She settled in properly after about two lessons. Progress has been very slow but I think that's partly due to her young age. She's 5 now and only gone 'up' one class in that time although is not far off going up to third class now. She can float, swim a little bit without flotation devices and more with floats, and she loves being in pools and is very confident. She does miss classes due to illness, holidays but not that many of either tbh. And rare for parties because of the timings of the classes. I'd consider the time of the lesson very carefully and also small class sizes is good too, her provider always has small classes of 5 kids max, with other kids also having illness and holidays and so on there's often only 2-3 of them in a class so she gets a lot of 1:1 attention in lessons.

Swimming for babies is pointless unless the parent derives something from it. The don't really learn properly until about six and then it all comes rapidly.
I started mine in group lessons at 4 and they made zero progress for two (expensive) years.
At 6 I paid for one to one lessons and they made more progress in one week than the preceding two years. This is partly down to age and partly down to the fact that they just puddle around waiting their turn for most of the group lesson.

He's still young. There are lots of kids who start older now. Our centre has beginner classes for over 8's.

We found half term/ summer holiday crash courses at our local leisure centre helped a lot. May not be feasible for you with work but one of us was able to wfh with a slightly late start as it was an 8-9 am class every day for 5 days and only down the road. Those weeks saw vast improvements whereas to get that same time in the pool he would have to go for ten weeks with normal lessons and like you say they end up missing a few and those gaps aren't helpful.

Of course it’s not pointless. It’s literally the only sport that children learn which could save their lives.

Plus when they’re older pools with slides, waves etc are fab and they need to be confident swimmers to make it work.

Swimming is the only non-negotiable activity imo until they can confidently swim at least 100m and tread water in the deep end for a couple of minutes.

To me the point of swimming lessons is so they won't drown if accident happens. So they need to properly swim up and down the pool with confidence and be aware of water safety, rather than just floating about and not being scared of water

Learning to swim is important, putting a 3 year old in to group lessons where they hardly get any actual swimming time is not.

Find a time convenient to you to take him at least once a week, play games with him, practise becoming water confident, jumping in the pool and doggy paddling to the edge, swimming under your legs, or diving down to get a weight. Then once he can doggy paddle a length put him into classes when he just needs to learn technique. DD went straight in to stage 4 and flew through the rest of the stages once she'd had a bit of technique tuition because she was that much older, her motor skills were better developed and was swimming competitively a year after starting lessons.

I agree with what’s been said here - wait until old enough to follow complex directions and to have enough control over their bodies, then do small groups or preferably 1-2-1. My 5 (almost 6) year old is just beginning to click it. At a younger age it was just a chore for all of us.

I'm not bothering with swimming lessons because of similar difficulties. I agree that swimming is an essential skill, but honestly, lessons for toddlers and babies are about fun, and confidence, not really swimming. It doesn't sound like this is a positive experience for your child.
Just go together during family time at the pool, you'll probably get much more out of it.

At our pool they have to have a parent in with them at 3. I can't imagine my 3yo being able to listen properly for 20 minutes solo, let alone do any swimming. We're going to start those parent & child lessons in the spring (so I'm not freezing my arse off getting changed) but otherwise we just take him as and when at the weekend to enjoy swimming and being in the water. It's meant to be a fun activity rather than a chore.

I think swimming is one of those areas where there's big pressure on parents to get kids in lessons as soon as they come out the womb and it's not necessary.

We started lessons at 3.5 and now go on a Saturday morning, she’s finished by 11 and have never had a party invitation for earlier than that. We’ve missed the odd lesson here and there for illness but I feel like swimming is worth persevering with. I definitely wouldn’t just rely on school swimming lessons.

At 3.5 she went straight into the lessons where the teacher is in the water but not parents and that’s the best decision I could have made. She paid so much more attention and made so much more effort with a teacher than she did with me and came on leaps and bounds compared to relatives who opted for the lessons with parents in the water too. Also much easier to get changed afterwards when only one of you is wet.

I’m not really convinced of the merit of lessons for younger babies and toddlers beyond getting them used to the water, which you can just do yourself at a normal family swim session.

I have done swimming lessons with dd now 4. I've taught her most things myself through play but, nos she's a bit older we're on a wait list for a Monday 4pm slot after school, as weekends are also tricky.

I'd rather wait longer for the right slot that works as a routine so she gets the benefit and I don't mind if that means another year of play learning.

I suppose it depends on your swimming skills. My parents taught me to swim and I taught my son to swim. If you are a decent enough swimmer, why waste all that money? My son is 12. Is this now a thing, that the only way they can learn is to shell out on lessons? Totally get it if you are not confident in the water paying for lessons, but surely most parents or a family member or friend can get them going? Lessons at 3 does seem a waste of money. As others have said, just go and have fun in the water and make sure they are not scared of it until they can take instruction.

I must have done OK teaching him as he got caught in a current in Bournemouth when he was about 8. He did what I drilled him to do. Lay on your back, float, don't fight the water. I always watch from the shoreline. Saw him bob under and had to run in my clothes and rescue him. Lifeguards came shortly after about 30 people got caught by this current, mostly kids with parents that were staring at that phones and didn't even notice, till they saw the lifeguards. I know why they make you get a brick from the bottom of pool in pajamas now. It was the one time I went to the beach with no swimming costume. My son isn't the most graceful swimmer but he can swim and is confident in the water. I now know he can cope with an emergency.

I took my first child to lessons for years and years, from age 3. She finally learned at about 8, but only really got confident at 11 after a summer by a lake. My second child started lessons at 7, wasn't quite getting it, and again only really learned after a holiday in the canaries with a pool! If I had my time again I'd not bother with the lessons, just save up for holidays near nice bodies of water, or take them to the local pool at weekends! This is the way children used to learn, I'm not sure when it came to be a marker of good parenthood to make your children attend expensive swimming lessons at absurdly young ages, or indeed at all. I have never had an 'official' swimming lesson in my life, but am a confident and enthusiastic swimmer. My dad taught me in the local pool!

I was staring a new post and accidentally typed it here...still trying to figure out this Mumsnet thing 🙃

Take him swimming for fun so he becomes confident in the water and enjoys it. A holiday abroad is great for this. Hours and hours in the pool with lots of other kids.

Start lessons at 6 or 7 and he’ll come on quickly. You can do them in the evenings after school for this age group which is easier to commit to.

I did swimming lessons with dsd and dd after work for a long time. It was a lot of hassle but something I thought was important for them.

Before lessons I use to take them both swimming every weekend as a family to play and get use to the water.

By the time dd had lessons, she was able to swim with arm bands and was fairly confident in the water.

If your not getting anywhere, leave the lessons but go as a family regularly, so dc enjoys being in the water, sees you swimming and then will want to do the same.

My DS has been taking lessons from 4 months, DD from 6 weeks, so I do value swimming.

However I think it’s worth mentioning that statistically drowning is more likely to happen to strong swimmers - they are confident and approach water and then get out of their depth, literally.

I really hope that doesn’t sound condescending, it’s just that I don’t think anyone should be thinking ‘my child can swim, they’re OK.’

I wouldn’t bother until your child is in school, possibly even waiting until Y1 for actual lessons. Until then, just take them to the pool and focus on them being happy, comfortable and confident in the water. If they’re happy to float with a noodle, blow bubbles, get their face wet and start kicking, they will take to it easily when they start lessons. They are also not strong enough at 3 to kick hard or do much unaided.

Didn’t start DC1 With lessons until start of Y1 and by the end of the first term, they were in the same group as children who had been having consistent lessons from 5/6 months old. We did put in effort in swimming with them from young but saved the cost and hassle of lessons

Being able to swim is a life skill for children.
We just stared my 4 year old and after 2 weeks he is refusing to go as the instructor "was annoyed at him" I think he's probably too young and tired after school so we're going to stop lessons and just go as a family to build his confidence and restart in a year or so.
If I was booking lessons again I would do first thing on a Saturday as I think after school was too much for my DS and later on a Saturday there are always birthday parties etc

My ds is a great swimmer. We tried lessons when he was little but he made no progress so I just joined a gym/pool and took him myself weekly and then booked him into holiday intensive courses. He's very confident and knows all his strokes now at 7.

This! Plus I disagree with all those who say children cannot understand until 6, my child who turned 5 only 2 weeks ago is in stage 4, confidently swimming 20m and is learning to butterfly!
Swimming is our only non negotiable and she started it as soon as soon as we could get a space at 3.5 years

Well I wouldn't have it on a weekend.
Personally I'd wait till he starts school and then do swimming lessons. And do it after school one day.