Up at 3am, I’m having a bad week

[exhaustedmamaa]

Need to vent as it’s 3.30am and I want to cry. Husband has been on night shifts all week so haven’t had much help this week, and I’ve been working all week myself as well. I work full time.

My DD who’s 15 months is usually a very good sleeper but all week has woken up every night at midnight and taken about an hour to settle, will only sleep in my bed after she wakes up. it’s strange but every night is exactly the same time, around midnight.

Tonight she woke up at midnight but was hysterical, managed to calm her down and she went back to sleep. An hour later wakes again and was inconsolable, got herself into a right state and I haven’t seen her that bad and it scared me. I changed her nappy and she wet it again in seconds which I’ve never seen her that quickly so had to change her again, which she wasn’t happy about. I gave her a bottle of milk which eventually settled her and now she’s finally back to sleep.

I don’t understand why she keeps waking at midnight, and why she’s woken up so hysterical tonight. I feel awful. I’m exhausted and I can’t get back to sleep now and I want to cry. Work was tough as I was so tired. I feel guilty that maybe I didn’t know what to do tonight and that she was so upset which was horrible to see, I felt helpless. and I’m also grieving the past me this evening, when times were more simple.

Supposed to drive to see family in the morning and now just feels like another thing I need to do, can’t stay in as husband will be sleeping and can’t relax indoors anyway as DD is on the move walking.

I’m sorry, that sounds really hard- I’m in a similar position with my nearly 2 year old. Listen to an audiobook or something until you drift off to try and relax your mind if you can, everything feels so much worse in the middle of the night.

can you go to your family tomorrow and have a nap whilst they entertain your DD for a couple of hours?

I also wouldn’t change her unless she’s done a poo, my DS would wake up properly if I changed him in the night. Sometimes when he cries I leave it a couple of minutes and he settles himself and just gets more wound up if I go in, is this worth a try?

Remember, this too will pass and she WILL sleep, as far away as that feels right now. You’re not alone, you’re doing a great job.

Or would you be open to co sleeping? I’ve personally never tried it but some people swear by it and if your DD is scared she might want reassurance you’re near. Or a mattress in her room if you don’t want to co sleep? I know it’s hard because you might not want to set up that habit, but it’s an option.

do you co-sleep? If not, co-sleeping can be very soothing for a child if they suffer with illness or nightmares or anxiety.

A mattress on the floor in her bedroom, within hand holding distance is good if co-sleeping isn’t your thing

She’s still in a cot in our room as we live in a one bed at the moment, usually she stays in her cot but she’s wanting to come in the bed this week when she wakes up. I’ve never known her to wake up the same time each night either. I don’t mind her sleeping in my bed

Hand hold. It’s rotten says she whose 3 year old has been “seeing shadows” and demanding to sleep in our bed at 3am all week. It sounds like a sleep cycle connecting issue to me. I remember at around 1.5-2 my DD had night terrors, and they always kicked in at the same point every night, and apparently that was due to sleep cycles too. Good luck!

Oh and a tip an old granny gave me: get a sleep nappy one size up from their day one. It will hold more and stop them from waking up wet as much. Like another poster said, I’d try to not change them unless heavy nappy so to minimise disruption of sleep.

She might be ready to drop a nap or shorten it. I think mine went through a bad separation anxiety/sleep regression combo at this age though so it mint just be her age. So sorry you're going through this right now OP. That's really hard!

You did exactly what a Mum should do. Never mind people saying they'd only change baby if they'd done a poo. This is overnight and she had wee'd already. Not great PPs who think that's okay for babies to lie in that when you're well aware of it and can clean up and make them comfortable.
Hope you're not stuck in a wet nappy overnight when you're old. More likely to happen regularly then and I doubt you'll appreciate it.
OP You made sure she is clean to sleep instead of having her sleep with wee against her skin which could hurt her after several hours lying in it.
Could it be a growth stage? DD is 11 now, my only (lone parent), so I still remember how hard things were at particular stages.

This is not a tiny baby waking within a couple of hours. 15 months. You would really leave the child in a nappy that had been wee'd in overnight when you knew about it? When they're younger yeah, heavy wee nappies discovered first thing in the morning can be normal but by this age it'd be laziness to ignore. OP's whole point is that the child isn't sleeping and she's not leaving her child in a wee soiled nappy overnight when she's awake anyway.

I'm inclined to say it must be a developmental thing that your daughter is trying to process at the moment. my son is the same age but has always woken several times in the night but its been even more lately. it usually is aroind thr same times every night so may well be connected to sleep cycles too. my husband and I are shattered and playing the who's more tired game where no one wins. I remember my daughter around the same age started having split nights where she would be wide awake from 3-5am every night. We had to take her downstairs and let her crawl around and play as no amount of rocking would help her sleep.

Good news is that it will get better but I dont think my daughter slept a full night until she was closer to 2.

It’s quite normal unfortunately, we had 2am to 5am. Nothing we did worked, we eventually just got out of bed and went into the living room until she was ready to go back to sleep.

It’s horrific but it will pass. You have my sympathy OP, I definitely cried from exhaustion.

There’s not really any need to call anyone lazy. OP had already changed baby’s nappy and then baby had wee’d again so she’d changed her again. All I, and other PPs, were saying was that it’s going to be waking baby up more, unnecessarily.

Could be nightmares my ds goes through stages of having them and it's always around the same time xx

Hopefully just one of those weeks. We have them too with the 19 mth old. He has a cold currently so wouldn’t go down until midnight last night which makes for a very cranky baby today and I also have to do some driving today 😩

I know this sounds crazy, but we had a similar thing at that age, and someone gave me the advice to go move them slightly about 11pm/when you go to bed( don’t fully wake them). It’s supposed to disrupt the sleep pattern a bit and stops night terrors which it does sound like it could be. We went back to the co sleeping around that time too to survive