Mum feeling guilty- children back from care

[Mel15sa]

Heya,

I won't go into the details, but I am feeling sad for my friend. She has had her kiddies removed from her care for about 18 months, and they were staying with relatives and close friends.
She now has her children back, as social services have allowed this, though under regular checks / supervision?

My friend has this sense of guilt and loss, which I think is understandable but I have asked her to see a therapist.
She always brings up how much she has missed her baby grow up, for example spending bath times, holding, seeing her grow etc, and it is the same for her slightly older girl too.

Her partner is really supportive and looks to be dealing with the situation well; he told me he is glad the kids are back and can put the past behind him.

I just worry for my friend...does anyone have any resources that I can direct her to? I keep trying to remind her she isn't a bad mother, and the kids were in a good place when they were being looked after with people she knew, and they kids are back at home and are in a good environment with her.

I think it is normal what she is feeling to an extent, but it always seems to take up alot of our conversations.

ty x

She can't change the past but can influence the present. Letting her wallow in self pity may not be the best way to help her. Maybe try to direct the conversation more to the present, what memories is she making and planning to make now?

Remind her that many parents feel that they would like the opportunity to have their own kids small again so they can have a do-over and be better second time around.
This goes for things like spending more time with them, being a better example, being more patient and understanding, being stricter, pushing them more or less with education etc.
And any parent of relatively older children will say you've still got time, they're still little .
Parenting is lifelong. One difficult period doesn't mean that she can't rebuild her relationship to be stronger than ever and she's got her whole life to do so.