My DF is very successful in his career and I think that’s made him be quite full of himself, he’s used to everyone around him saying how great he is, agreeing with him, he thinks he’s incredibly smart (and he is!) etc. He has minimal experience with children - the only kids he’s experienced are me (I was mostly raised by nannies, I’m an only child) and my cousins (but he didn't see them much growing up, except visits a few times per year). Having said all this, he genuinely loves me, cares about me, wants what’s best for me, supports me as best he can in every way. He raised me alone since age 11 when my mum died. I just think babies are completely unknown and new to him.
He’s expecting my daughter, 17mo, to automatically love him because she sees him a lot (for about 10 days per month) and he plays peekaboo with her. He doesn’t say this but I can just tell by the way he acts and looks - he seems baffled as to why she bats him away when he tries to kiss her face. He’ll also say things like “ok back you go!” when she cries after I hand her over for him to hold (she’s probs got separation anxiety). Also looks visibly annoyed by it if on a walk she’s crying and doesn’t fall asleep (we left late for the walk because he had to take a work related phone call so she was overtired). He says phrases like “why is she crying so much today?” “Do you know what’s up with her now?” Or “ooh what a lovely girl!” (is that meant to be sarcastic?!). Or "there she goes again!" when she cries.
I want them to bond but I don’t know how to do it! He doesn’t really play with her except some peekaboo when she’s in her high chair, or sometimes he will gurgle back to her when she “speaks” to him or try wave / clap with her but max for 5 mins if he’s doing something else near her, she cries when he holds her. He’d never sit on the floor and play - that’s not fun for him and he just starts reading news on his phone or goes away to do something else.
Basically he seems to want that bond but for it to come FROM HER! Then gets a bit “meh” about her when she’s not initiating that affection. And I think that’s too much to ask from a baby.