5 yo old and terrible sleep!

[ArabellaDinosaur]

Ever since my DC was two sleep has been terrible on some or all fronts - getting to bed, settling to sleep, waking in night, night terrors, early waking etc.

Between 3.5 and 4 we really struggled with multiple night waking so bought DC a double bed and my DH (I’m to much of a light sleeper) slept with them.

This was not sustainable so with the start of the summer hols and DC turning five we went back to then sleeping on own. It’s better than it was last year but I would say only sleeps through on average 2-3 nights a week still (but only wakes once) since spring we have also had a problem with early waking, this has been getting earlier and earlier we are now on 5:15am.

This pre 5:45 waking seems to have coincided with starting school.

I am on my knees I cannot physically get to sleep much earlier then 10:30pm.

I feel like we have tried everything over the years.

just read an article which says they’re going to bed either too early or late. We were on fully answer by 7:45/8 for past two wks we’ve pulled earlier to 7:20/7:30. Again due to pick up (they do after school club until 4:15) and dinner etc. getting them to br fully asleep any earlier just not doable.

they do not even seem sleepy at that time - fully bouncing of walls, still happy active and chatty at 6:30pm.

Last week by pure chance as we had an event we were back at 7:40 and DC whisky wasn’t too tired at that point, literally within 10 mins was in full meltdown mode, by time calmed and ready for bed they were asleep at around 8:30pm…..they still woke up at 5:25?!?

We use a hatch night light (has the gro clock waking light function) white noise machine btw.

I am a mess at 5am but DH says theyre not grouchy says they’re wide awake. DH told me this morning they said ‘but I am fully energised’ when he tried to encourage them back to bed at 5:15 today.

what the hell do we do?!?

It could just be a circadian rhythm disorder. My niece (3) is really hard to get down and wakes in the night. My son stays up all night and sleep in the day and misses so much school. I shouldn’t be surprised as me and my mum are the same. Sometimes it’s just genetics. Does your DC sleep during the day ?

No one answer from me but gradually things did come together. I employed a sleep consultant. Twice. Spoke to GP and got a prescription of melatonin. But actually I think the issue was more psychological and below things helped the most.

We did mindfulness and children's meditations to get her to relax and get sleepy, to learn what that felt like, and stop fighting it. She had a cd of them to put on at night if awake. I think that fighting feeling sleepy, and calling me at the end of sleep cycles without giving it a chance to link into another one was a big culprit.

We also did a reward system based on 'bedtime passes' which you can look up. We wrote up sleep rules that she suggested, no shouting, stay in bed until the sun etc, she drew them into a book. To give ownership. We made tokens. Loads. Set up to succeed. Fine to call me or be up, but costs a token. Tokens left in the morning = reward. We used playmobil, split up a camping set she wanted, one piece at random each morning. So high stakes! Gradually reduce the numbers of tokens. The first night she used 32 I think. Got down to 6 quite quickly, within a couple of weeks. Then gradually from there.

We also did a technique used by insomniac adults where you work out how long you can sleep for = Xhrs, work out when you need to get up, and go to sleep Xhrs before that time. Then gradually bring that time forward. This helped most with a big wake up of several hours at 1:30am.

Good luck. I fully appreciate how things are for you. It nearly destroyed me and my marriage. But hopefully things here are a success story.

Thank you so much for these responses. Will have a good investigate!

My dd is/was exactly the same. She's 10 now and still gets up at 5-6am. As a 5 year old we taught her to stay in bed not shout when awake just rurn over close eyes relax. She was waking at 4am ish everyday, we set a rule not to get out if bed until 6am. So she read, coloured etc in bed at least relaxing. She was allowed to wake us at 6:30, then moved to7am! We used group clock for years.
You don't need to be up with your child, he/she may just not need that sleep. You do need to teach night time rules. Do pictures, checklist use sticker charts etc. Your passed the toddler stage so no need for you be with your child every waking moment.