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Parenting

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Original poster

Newborn won’t settle

14 replies

Ljajx · 14/09/2023 22:19

Our 12 day old daughter will not settle at night and fights naps during the day.
She spends the majority of the night crying her lungs out and the only thing that will stop her is suckling on the breast, but after a while I get so tired I have to put her down as I’m scared I’m going to fall asleep.

we’ve tried skin to skin, white noise, pushing her around the house in her pram, rocking her and so on but nothing seems to work. We also tried a dummy which worked for a couple of hours but she now refuses to take it.

me and my partner feel like we’re loosing our mind.. any tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PimpMyFridge · 14/09/2023 22:22

Very common, the more responsive you can be the more reassured and settled baby will become (though this is not necessarily easy!)
Google 'the fourth trimester' and read up on different approaches and what's going on for your baby... even if nothing actually changes greater understanding (and reducing that 'good, this is forever' feeling) will help you cope.

PimpMyFridge · 14/09/2023 22:22

But you might also find something that helps!

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/09/2023 22:23

Unfortunately it does sound like normal baby behaviour. They can often cluster feed in the evenings before they have a sleep.

I used to feed them like this and then pass them over to DH so that I could get a couple of hours of sleep.

It's also pretty normal for them to feed a lot in the early hours. They're designed to do this because Mum is usually lying down and available.

If you're getting too tired, have you tried feeding lying down yet?

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ReeseWitherfork · 14/09/2023 22:24

Congratulations on your new baby. Is this your first? (Trying to gauge whether there are older childrens needs in the mix too.)

Is she putting on weight OK? Lots of wet nappies? Step 1 is to make sure she’s getting enough milk and isn’t hungry (I’d be surprised if that was the answer, but it’s an obvious one I overlooked with my second, needed to build my supply up.)

Is she uncomfortable in any way? Any signs of reflux or wind? Any excessive straining or grunting? Any vomiting? I’m asking this with the caveats that all babies are a bit windy, grunty and possety, so it’s whether any of this feels like a potential problem?

brievandecam · 14/09/2023 22:24

The constant sucking makes me think she has tummy pains. I use to do nappy free kick about time with both mine every evening to soothe tummy pains just on the changing mat with a towel for the accidents and that use to help colic pains.

I also used frida baby windi gas releaser when I was really desperate!

VivaVivaa · 14/09/2023 22:32

Is she gaining weight, peeing and pooing?

The overnight stuff sounds like cluster feeding. It’s extremely difficult and probably the worst bit of breastfeeding. 2-3 weeks is prime for it and lots of newborns looking at you DS2 seem to want to do it in the middle of the night. Whenever DS2 cluster fed it was usually continuous from 1am-5am ish. Have you tried feeding her lying down? It’s much safer to plan to bed share then accidentally falling asleep holding her.

How are you trying to get her to nap during the day? Will she breastfeed to sleep and just nap on you? How about a sling?

Namechangedforthis25 · 14/09/2023 22:32

It does sound normal in the sense that babies need to be with a caregiver for the whole of the fourth trimester - and their bodies have tiny stomachs for food/poo and their body clocks work in periods of three hours (so three hour feed/poo/sleep)- with the level of intense crying tending to peak at around 21 days

but I know it’s relentless, so I think you need to both take it in turns

also - do you think she has reflux or colic (in which case a bottle can help or drops into the milk).

do you give enough milk if your own supply

Original poster

Ljajx · 14/09/2023 22:35

Yes she’s the first, so completely clueless on everything.. everything I learned whilst pregnant has gone out the window.

She weighted in above her birth weight on day 10 and she’s constantly feeding with lord of wet nappies so I don’t think she’s hungry.
Although, she only seems to be having one dirty nappy a day for the past few days but HV visitor said it’s ok. I thought it could be colic but HV said that doesn’t really kick in until 2 weeks.. definitely feels like one professional says one thing and another says something else.

OP posts:

SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 14/09/2023 22:40

When she's feeding does she go to sleep? I don't think it's Colic if she will fall asleep in your arms. Not from my experiences with DS anyway...

BaffledOnceAgain · 14/09/2023 22:47

My ds1 and 2 had awful reflux. Ds2 had it from day 1. He was a happy chocker who vomited 20-40 times a day, but ds1 screamed with silent reflux and couldn't be laid flat for the first year. Just saying this in case any of this sounds familiar.

DapperDame · 14/09/2023 22:56

My first had colic from almost the day he was born. Once I gave him colic drops, he was a different baby! (He's 26 now so I appreciate advice may have changed!)

caban · 14/09/2023 23:03

Look up safe bedsharing and try feeding lying down - then you can doze and the baby will settle. It was a lifesaver for me.

Chunkyspunkymunkey · 14/09/2023 23:38

Have you tried taking shifts with baby, so one sleeps while the other rocks/walks/ pushes? It feels very lonely when baby is crying, but at least you get some sleep.

Proudmomma0 · 15/09/2023 00:11

My baby was similar and only settled being fed, no colic or health issues and refused a dummy. I was exhausted and started drifting off sat up feeding (luckily DH there to wake me up or take baby), I was adamant I didn't want to bed share but I tried it (following all safety guidelines) and it's been a lifesaver, I would really recommend reading up on it and giving it a go if you feel comfortable

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