Single FTM with 5 week old newborn.. when does it get easier

[LD233]

Hi all. So I'm a single first time mom was single most my pregnancy not by choice I was left for someone else.
Anyway I'm 5 weeks postpartum my son turns 6 weeks old on Saturday and just wondering when it starts getting easier 😭 I'm doing it on my own. Me and my sons dad don't get along and he only sees him once a week for a few hours as he says he's too busy now throughout the week to help. I didn't see him anyway as I cant face him at the moment but I just feel like I'm drowning and can't get a break. My mom helps sometimes but can't depend on her all tbe time. My son is so clingy won't let me put him down and I'm barely doing anything for myself even taking a shower struggling to find the time for ! I also have 2 French bulldogs my mom helps with them but I just feel like I have no time at all for them and I feel so awful as they've been in my life for so long and rehousing isn't an option for them ! One is 7 years old tbe other is three. The younger dog is a handful and can be really hard work and I just feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm running on no sleep struggling mentally and think I may be starting to experience PPD. I keep thinking why have I done this to myself and I hate that I'm a single mom when I never planned to be. My ex betrayed me in the worst way possible so also trying to heal from that as well as be as best mom I can be for my baby boy!

I am going to ring the doctors shortly as I know I'm not doing well mentally.

I'm just struggling with the newborn stage and not having someone here to share it with and help really sucks. But my son is worth it all. I just hope it starts getting abit easier soon.

No one warns you how hard this can be and what a shock to the system it is.

Definitely go to the GP, you are doing the right thing there.

Newborns are hard, it's nothing you are doing wrong, they are just hard work. They have tiny stomachs so need frequent little feeds, they have frequent poos, they can't bring up their own burps, they quite often need holding all the time. I expected to put dd1 in her moses basket after a feed and she would go to sleep for an hour! What an idiot I was!

Each week that goes by they tend to go longer between feeds, that does help. But don't feel bad that you are finding it difficult, that is absolutely normal and at five weeks your body is still recovering from the birth. A bouncy chair in the bathroom while I was having a shower helped me. The shower noise soothed them too so double win!

I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling and you're right, no one tells you how hard it's going to be and there's no real telling when it will get easier as all babies are different, but in time it will as you become more used to your baby's needs

I've had 2 children, less than 2 years apart. My first (bottle fed) slept through the night at 6 weeks and was generally a good baby, my second (breast fed) was much harder, with virtual non stop feeding and didn't sleep through the night until much later and generally needed constant attention. I virtually parented on my own after the 2nd, as my OH was working 7 days a week.

At the time it was very hard and seemed to go on a long time, but I can look back now, 40 years later and see in reality it was only for a short time in the scheme of things, but I can understand how hard it is, when it's your first, as you've been used to your time being your own.

Things will slowly get easier Could your mum look after the dogs at her house for a bit?

Have you got any friends near by, who would take the baby for a bit to give you a break. I used to take my friends daughter out for the day. As she was a single mum. She practically pushed me out the door with her and I soon discovered why, the baby was very hard work. And I'm well used to newborns.

https://www.home-start.org.uk/Pages/Category/things-we-can-help-with
Health Visitor
https://singleparentssupportandadviceservices.co.uk
Local college early years student placement

If you have sufficient income to cover it.. a mother's help / post natal doula..

Friends..

Dear Mary.. if you have time, could you come and hold the baby while I shower or come and take to dogs out for a walk with me / for me.... this is harder than I ever imagined.. I don't want to talk about it when you get here because I will cry and might never stop.. so let's pretend I didn't send this message and act like it's all OK - I will talk when I am ready but right now I just need your help..

Post on your local Facebook and ask for help with the dogs .. post anonymously if you want to avoid people being openly judgemental..

Reaching out - looking for help. I am unexpectedly single, with a 5 week old high needs baby and two much loved dogs. If you think you might be able to help, please get in touch.

It is hard.. your ex is an ass.. can you tell him he has to pay for a dog walker / a cleaner / mothers help?

Thank you so much I will look at those links. Just so hard right now but my sons dad isn't much help . Just need to try and get up from this depression x