Hmm, doesnt sound like the subject thats the issue, its the everyday logistics of it!
I've always been in a 'male dominated' industry. My first degree was mechanical engineering (was originally going to do jewellery design - had a radical rethink at the 11th hour!). Having worked on a chemical plant in my sandwich year though, I decided that designing pipes wasn't quite my bag, so to speak. Boring.
Anyways, finished my degree, and after a year working as a housekeeper in the lake district, I decided IT would be a much better choice. So did a masters for one year. It was bl**dy hard work.I was busy all the time, writing programs, essays, bashing away with frustration at a keyboard. I found it very difficult and it was very time consuming, and I didn't have a family, however a lot of people on the course did (men and women) and they managed it. I didn't really have the foggiest what I was doing half the time, but I floundered through it and got me a job at the end of it as an IT consultant (for a software firm - project based - no specific role so you do whatever job comes up) Pretty much the same thing as a 'software engineer'.
Worked there for 7 years (minus 15 months out to go work in Oz). My time there varied from uber-boring to relatively interesting, from not much on to working 7 days a week 16 hours a day. I made a very close knit group of friends, all girls all 'geeks' by trade but very girly girls. I've done all kinds of jobs for that company - admin, developing (front and back end) technical authoring, business analysis, bidding for new work, testing (Which is what I do now) team leading, grad recruitment (As a sideline) and other stuff.
I have to say it wasn't until I actually started work that I started to understand what it was all about - the course was mostly gobbledegook to me - like most things its only when you put it into practice it makes sense. When I had my son I realised I couldn't go back full time (it involved commuting to London which took too much time out of my day) so I had to leave. I've been very very fortunate in finding a new job which is still based in London, but allows me to work part time from home. I don't think you'll find that there aren't a lot of those out there, but they do exist. Theres also the contracting option - work for a few months for lots of dosh, then take a few months off.
I now purely test software (and the rest that this involves - it does need a technical background) Its definately been worth it, but you know what, I don't talk computers with my IT mates. (ok, the odd database discussion has popped in there you can't leave work out altogether) We talk shoes, bags, wine, food and babies