Another child gives sweets to my DC every day

[Kumasi]

Hello, I have a situation where a child in my
DC’s class gives sweets, chocolate, donuts, lollies etc every day to my child. Their parents bring plenty of stuff to share. Now I allow the occasional sweets or ice cream but not on a daily basis. What makes matters worse is that the child is bit of a bully, and it’s difficult to have a reasonable conversation with the parents. The child gives the stuff to my child without anyone asking me, so the damage is already done by the time the sweets
etc are handed to my child. What should I do without appearing rude?

you need to speak to the school maybe? usually sweets etc aren't allowed. I am sure school can step in if necessary.

I'd also a school to have a 'no food sharing' rule due to possible allergies.

This is dangerous for allergies..my DC have allergies and they know not to take food but when tempted it's hard to resist! I would speak to the school.

What should I do without appearing rude?

Tell your child to say 'No, thank you'? Or to accept the sweets and say that they will 'save them for home time'?

How old are the children?

Speak to the school? They shouldn't be having sweets in primary school? If its secondary then your child should be responsible enough to say no thanks or stick it in their bag for later.

The child gives the stuff to my child without anyone asking me, so the damage is already done by the time the sweets
etc are handed to my child.

This sounds like it's happening outside of school when you're present? When dd was at primary lots of parents would turn up at collection and have snacks for the walk home and bring some for them to share with friends too, I told her to either say no thank you, or if they're pushy or she's too nervous to say no that she can say thank, she'll take them home for after her tea.

If it's happening in school I'd speak to the teacher, all the primary schools local to be don't allow sweets to be taken in.

If this is happening in the school then I agree with pp that you need to speak to the school. Children are usually not allowed to share food because of allergies.

I’d pack an extra cabbage in your kid’s bag to share with their friend.

Thanks all! This is primary school and the sweet sharing happens at pick up. I’ve told my daughter to say no but the friend is very pushy. I’ve already tried to speak - nicely - to the parents earlier this year about the child’s bullying behaviour and that didn’t go down too well… so now I fear if I say anything to the parents re sweets, it will be seen as rude which I really don’t want to be. This happens outside school so can’t really speak to teachers. I guess I’ll have to keep having conversations with my daughter and teach her to say “no”.

I'd still suggest speaking to school about it, they may be able to suggest something. School gate behaviour is also relevant!

Put it in her pocket for "later". I'm just back from 2nd emergency paediatric appointment in a year for an abscess. Her teeth were find until she started playing out with a sweetie mad friend. Your child can always have it later perhaps at mealtimes, but not in-between.

I’d say to the child “ no thank you that’s very kind but we don’t have sweets every day”

wouldn’t care about the response from the parents

I agree with this. If it’s at school pick up, then just intervene yourself and say what @OnlyFoolsnMothers suggested. It is polite, friendly, non confrontational and clear. Perfect response.

Yeah it's really very straightforward

You just need to it - it's not a big deal

Thanks all, this is helpful.