Child hates swimming

[Solitaryasanoyster]

My son is 7 and has been having swimming lessons since he was a baby.
This last year he has steadily become a more anxious and is now terrified of swimming and cries in lessons.
His younger sibling has started lessons with him and is leaps about bounds ahead and it’s very noticeable how behind he is considering he has had lessons for SO long.
On a recent holiday he was jumping in the pool, albeit with a float, with zero fear. But when his teacher ask him to swim unaided, he just cries and says no.
I think swimming is an important life skill and don’t want him to stop learning but how do I try to encourage him to be less scared and convince him he is not going to drown like he thinks?!

Thank you to all those who posted genuinely helpful advice.
I will look into 1-2-1 lessons and try to also do more swimming for fun away from lessons.

Well if this is your attitude, why not pull all kids out of school who don’t like going and teach them at 20, 30, 40?

If you don’t have anything helpful to say and all you want to do is project judgement, please refrain from posting at all!

I would ask to swap to another swim teacher and see if that helps

You make a valid point.

Some kids do hate school and every parent should force their kids to go.

That is the advice given to parents of school refusing children isn't it? Ignore their protests, force them to go...

(It's actually not the advice given to school refusers. The advice is more along the lines of give them time and support and help. Forcing them to do stuff they don't want is far more damaging and stressful and leads to worse mental health outcomes in the long run.)

Go well op.

If you only want to hear what you want to hear, maybe don't post on a public forum, or try Twitter or Netmums, your bub, your rules Hun.

Some lessons and teachers aren’t great. I don’t know if you’ve changed but it might be the teacher who is wrong for him.

Sounds to me like a teacher problem not a water problem. What’s she like? I hated my swimming teacher. Put me off swimming for life. I can swim, I do swim on holiday but I’d never go swimming for pleasure.

Both my children hated school swimming lessons. My eldest hated the teacher and her manner to the point where he wanted to avoid going. We didn’t do any extra lessons. They were both happy to be in a swimming pool, just not as part of a lesson. They preferred having fun and not practicing swimming, however.

Just after his 7th birthday, my eldest couldn’t swim unaided. Until we went abroad on holiday - on the first day he got in the pool and started swimming on his own. completely out of the blue. Youngest did a similar thing, learned on a holiday.

My son was terrified even though he is super sporty. I pulled him out abs got him some 1.1 s with private teacher who spent the first 6 lessons 'playing with him in the water and it was like a switch had been flicked.

Honestly ignore the people trying to tell you it's not important. It is .

This is really great approach for teaching kids skills like resilience and perseverance 🙄

Exactly this! My DD hated putting her head underwater in swimming lessons, so we stopped taking her as we didn't want to force her.

Then when school swimming lessons started she was in the bottom set and was embarrassed about not being able to swim - she's now an adult and swims alright but says that she wished we'd continued her lessons as her fear of putting her head under was only ever going to be a phase.

@Solitaryasanoyster I'm not sure what your getting at as I've read through most of the messages. Most as saying it sounds like a teacher problem/look at lessons 1-1/take the pressure off swimming lessons and go with him yourself.

Nothing about not teaching kids resilience etc.
Your son has had swimming lessons since he was a baby, he was fine on holiday in the pool.... now he's crying in lessons when asked to do something.

To me it sounds like a teacher problem... but I don't know your son... what your son has said to you... or what you have said to your son to try and get to the bottom of this.

If your child all of a sudden become really upset about going to school or doing something in school when previously they have been fine.... you wouldn't just ignore and say..... go straight in.... you would try and get to the bottom of it.

Well I hope you would

I spent most summers, growing up, in the water. First with floaters, then I started being taught how to swim by family members.

When I went to school, my parents enrolled me in swimming lessons.

I ABSOLUTELY hated it, and would cry and refuse to go and refuse to participate in the lesson at all, even though I was pretty confident in water and could swim.

My parents didnt insist on the lessons past that 1st year, and I continued to be a strong swimmer (not technically, but always safe and confident in water).

I still hated swimming lessons when I had them with school, years later, Im still not a technically great swimmer. But I can go from A to B and jump and splash around safely, even if I cant stand!

my point it, like PP have said, go for the fun swimming, with you, and less for the regimented swimming lessons!

What is the pool he’s in like? Some do much better in a teaching pool where they don’t have to worry about depth. My v confident swimmer had a wobble when she first went to the deep pool rather than the teaching one. We’re also keeping my 4yo in the teaching pool a bit longer rather than moving her up to stage3 in the big pool as our teacher would rather she builds her strength in a class that is a bit too easy than freak out and regress.