3 year old not settling in daycare

[NishaaS123]

My son has started day care around 2 week ago, he’s been crying everyday. We were doing settling sessions at first when I was there he was okay the moment I left for 15 mins he would cry and cry non stop. Since 2 days I am leaving him there for 45mins but he’s still crying and crying. The teacher said he was quiet for like 5 mins today but still very unsettled. I have been talking to him about going to nursery and trying to explain to him but I don’t know how I can get him to settle in. Did this happen to anyone else? Any tips on how I can help him settle in?

45 minutes is not enough. I work with this age. The need one day to really cry and then they will understand you will come back. 45 mins is unsettling (Mummy will be back if I cry enough, when is she coming, why is she not here yet?). If they understand that every day you pick them up after lunch, bit after they've played in the garden the get used to this routine. You need to let him get used to it and after a week been relax and have fun, probably a bit less crying every day, but the first day will be a lot.

@MerryMarigold
Ah okay I will speak to his teacher then because she asks me to come pick him up after 45mins. Maybe she’s just waiting for him to be a hit more calm.

I think collecting after 45 is problematic because it’s reinforcing that he cries and you come back. And he hasn’t discovered that he can be “okay” without you being there.

I think at 3 he’s old enough to understand that you will be coming back “after snack” or “after lunch” or whatever time period.

Sorry, I know it’s horrible though… currently settling my 2yo with new childminder.

Yes, it's hard. It's hard for us too, but I think they get it after a week and then it's much less painful. You drag it out much I longer with short time periods. Maybe we're tough where I work but I see them settle much more quickly this way than dragging it out.