Any words of solidarity re nursery illness?

[overwhelmedanxiousmum]

Hi all, not sure what I'm hoping for from this post, maybe just some words of solidarity! NC because I've put quite a few details.

My 14mo has recently started nursery three days a week while I work. We've just recovered from our second bout of D&V in a month and I feel totally wiped. There's now a confirmed COVID case in her nursery but we have no choice but to send her in - my job has no flexibility re time off and DH has just accepted a new job so will soon also have much less flexibility while he settles into his new role.

We don't have much of a village. MIL helps on occasion but can't commit to anything regular (which is totally fair enough, I don't expect it, but just explaining for context). My parents are over an hour away, they visited pretty frequently on mat leave but both have a degree of health anxiety esp. re covid so I'm not sure how much use they'll be with nursery illness.

I guess my point is that I'm suddenly feeling a huge sense of impending dread over the winter to come. I've seen enough threads about nursery germs to know it'll be bad. I suffer from seasonal affective disorder every winter anyway and this is just tipping me into real anxiety over keeping our jobs and how we will cope with it all.

So far, her illness hasn't impacted work as she's only been sick on my days off... that's a relief in some ways, but also so emotionally draining - I took part time to spend time with her and it's just been miserable so far! I have a toolkit that generally helps me to feel better over the winter, lots of walks, yoga, Vitamin D but I have no time for this now (other than the vitamins). Dropped her off this morning and felt a huge sense of guilt and overwhelm as I drove to work. Does anyone have any words to reassure me/any small tips that might help?

Thanks for reading if you've got this far, as I say I think I'm really just looking for solidarity from people who've been in a similar position and made it to the other side!

We've just recovered from our second bout of D&V in a month and I feel totally wiped. There's now a confirmed COVID case in her nursery but we have no choice but to send her in

It's very possible her second D&V was covid, so she may well have had that.

But generally, yes it can be awful. My DD started in Jan and has had about 6 stomach bugs, plus chickenpox (and general colds but they haven't been bad). I have no tips, I'm hoping she grows out of it soon as she gets a bit more resistance!

@WeWereInParis thanks, I had heard that the latest variant could cause D&V but I tested myself on Sunday and was negative so think it's unlikely in this case though not impossible! Sorry to hear you're going through the same. Do you still catch everything as well? I think that's the toughest bit, all of us being ill at the same time! Hope it improves soon 🤞

I've actually dodged all 6 of her stomach bugs, but DH has caught every single one. DD1 only caught one them. I think maybe DH and DD2 are a bit more prone to vomiting, whereas DD1 and I maybe have stronger stomachs. I've never had a D&V bug that I can remember, although I'm sure I did as a young child.

I do tend to get her colds and end up worse than her though.

I think you might be wise to manage your expectations and accept that when a child starts nursery a large part of the first few months will be spent being ill. My DS started nursery last year and spent more time off sick than he did in nursery at one point. I hope the above doesn't sound harsh, it just helped me to be a little less emotional about the situation.
I think it was 3 months before we had a proper let up from bugs and upon speaking to other parents this seemed to be the norm. It was hellish but it did pass.
Even this week DS has come home from nursery with a sick bug and given it to everyone in our household. I was essentially working to send him to nursery, we were paying all this money in fees and he couldn't go because of bugs he had picked up there. He's been there nearly a year now and is absolutely thriving and only occasionally picks things up which he seems to fight off more quickly now.

Honestly, the first winter is just a bit shit. Share the days off equally, and make sure you drop it into conversation at your work whenever DH is off with a sick child so they know it's not just them having to suck up the last minute days off.

We had a winter with 2 DC in FT nursery and PCR testing and isolation needed every time one of them had a temp or a cough, it was truly awful. No relatives to help here either, not that it would have been allowed then either. But we survived it and it's not as bad now, and DC1 seems to get sick less often than her school friends who weren't at nursery (anecdata I know, but anecdata to cling to!).

Also, sometimes I think there's power in acknowledging that you're struggling with something because it is hard - you're not weak, things are just shit right now.

I have an almost 14 mo in nursery too and it’s been tough! He started end of July so we’re around 6 weeks in. He actually missed most of his first week with some virus (presumably caught in his settling in session the week prior). He was off two weeks ago with diarrhoea, I spent the following weekend being sick 🤢 he’s full of cold with a cough at the moment and I’ve just found out they’ve had confirmed covid cases in the room. Luckily we do have some grandparent support and flexible, understanding employers but it’s TOUGH. Solidarity to you!

Thank you all, somehow it helps to know other people are in the same boat, though ofc I'm sorry to hear other people are having a tough time too. Will brace myself for the onslaught and look forward to when it eventually eases (even if that's not for months!)

It will get better, I do empathise as it was brutal AF! I'd recommend taking a decent multivitamin and also a probiotic as lots of your immunity is actually driven by your stomach! I take a women's gut health vit and then acerola and vit D.

Just to say on a different aspect, the staff suffer too, my relative works in childcare and always has a cough, cold, stomach bug Etc and management are awful if she even takes one day off. 🤢

@Throwncrumbs that's so awful. Childcare workers aren't valued nearly enough for what they do. Didn't include it in my op because I felt I'd put enough personal details, but I'm an early years teacher myself so I relate, but they have it worse for sure. Had hoped my years in the classroom might have boosted my immunity but apparently mat leave has destroyed it!

My DS started nursery a year ago. The first winter was a bit tricky… but since then he hasn’t had a proper illness since.
It will end!

@DuploTrain thanks, that gives me hope!