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8 year old can't stay in her bed!

6 replies

Imogen94 · 11/09/2023 20:44

We are at our wits end!
About six months ago our daughter started getting up to go to the toilet in the night, consistently. We at the time linked it to anxiety. We did some therapy with her at home along with the schools guidance. We thought it worked!
She stopped getting up... She then came to me a few weeks ago to say she never stopped, she's been doing dribbles on tissues in her room at night. Which I've told her isn't what we do and she needs to go to sleep. She says she cannot get to sleep so convinces herself she needs the toilet.
She has no UTI, we checked with a doctor last week and they think it's a habit. She's had a consistent bedtime routine for months, including bedtime story and no screentime before bed, she also empties her bladder thirty mins before bed and at bedtime.

I don't know what else to do. I don't know whether we just turn her around and put her back to bed? It's hard to know when she genuinely needs it.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Singleandproud · 11/09/2023 20:47

What does she gain from being out of bed? Is it just the toilet trips, attention? Something else?

Imogen94 · 11/09/2023 21:03

Well this is the thing, she doesn't know. Its turned into a habit! The doctors confirmed there is nothing physically wrong so it's all mental!

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Singleandproud · 11/09/2023 21:15

Maybe a toddler potty in her room so she doesn't wake up properly and goes to sleep easier? That's got to be better than her peeing on to random bits of tissue in her room.

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Iammetoday · 11/09/2023 21:32

What do you do now when she gets up? Usually as pp is asking she gets something from the behaviour before its a habit. Does she get a special chat with mum/dad? Does she shout/wake you or just take herself to toilet and back to bed? How many times?

Do you just leave her to it? No attention at all might break the habit if it's about attention.

ZeroFucksGivenToday · 11/09/2023 21:39

This is hard as I can get in the habit of feeling I need the loo and can't settle until I've been. Even if it's a dribble.
Mine happens when I have something I can't move from, so a theatre show at the interval, a concert etc. I go to the loo and have to go back.
Once it's in your head it's all consuming.
the thing I recommend is letting her go but make no big deal of it, she will eventually stop it, but it has to be because it's not all consuming for her.

AubadeIsIt · 11/09/2023 21:41

I'm not sure therapy is best done at home (unless there is a professional coming to do it). Adults don't like being told that it's all in their head, and it isn't any fairer to treat children that way. Is it that disruptive to you? The fact that she's peeing on tissues in her room instead of going to the bathroom is terrible; it sounds like she's frightened of going to the bathroom (why, I wonder). Did the doctor do urine tests, or just ask questions?

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