8 week old routine

[Nicolahollie]

I’ve posted a few threads recently so apologies, I’m turning into an anxious, paranoid mess!

I’m just wondering what other mummy’s routines are/were for their 8 week old? I use the word routine loosely as I know it isn’t really possible to have a strict schedule.

I’m reading so much online particularly in the middle of the night and finding contradictions everywhere.

I think she is overtired at the moment so getting her to settle for naps is difficult plus I think we’re going through the peak crying phase 😭

What does a typical day look like for fellow mamas with an 8 week old? Am I supposed feed, play, sleep? Or feed before sleep? Should I determine when naps are or wait until she falls asleep herself (which the health care visitor suggested but I’m not sure this is correct). Or should I base a daily routine on feed times?

TIA

I have an 8 week old and I have nothing approaching a routine. I tied myself in knots with DS1 trying to put him down ‘drowsy but awake’ for naps at set times as a newborn. He was regularly an overtired mess because it just didn’t work. DS2 gets breastfed whenever he’s hungry or if he needs a nap. Somedays he’s on the boob hourly. He gets put in the sling or the pram when we are out and he’s getting fussy and needs a nap. He seems a lot more well rested then DS1 although that could be temperament. He sleeps better at night too. We seem to have a loose pattern emerging or 2 longer naps (1-2 hours) with a few shorter naps scattered around. Bedtime seems to roughly fall at 9pm with a half an hour nap in the sling ending roughly at 7:30-8pm. I’ll try and get more of a routine at 4-6 months but going with the flow has been so much better second time around.

I'm trying to get into a bit of a routine with my 8 week old too but it's not really happening haha! We want to start doing a bit of a bedtime routine but it doesn't always work. Like today, he'll probably want feeding within the hour which messes up what I had planned but there's nothing I can do haha, just got to go with it! I'm a teacher so thrive on routine so am struggling without one lol.

The most routine we have is that he feeds usually between 6/7am and then we sit upright for half an hour (reflux issues) then try to play (maybe tummy time) and then nap in the sling so I can get bottles washed and prepped. From there it all just depends on him!

We do usually do eat, play, sleep though. And i try to track his wake windows a bit and if I see him yawn 3 times then I try to get him down for a nap otherwise he's so fussy!

@VivaVivaa I’m just like you were and getting myself in knots. I have no clue what I’m doing. I’m thinking that when DD wakes, I’ll feed her if she appears hungry but if not will “play” with her, keep an eye on tired cues the best I can which I’m not very good at, change nappy, feed and then put down for a nap. As she seems overtired at the minute I’m trying to limit her awake times until we can get back on track. It’s so hard to know what the right thing to do is. All I know is that I’ve got to help this bundle of joy get plenty of sleep before it’s too late and then we have a long sleepless night ahead of us. We don’t appear to be settling down into any sort of pattern with anything. I just managed to get her to sleep around 2 hours stretches at night before she woke up for a feed but all that went out the window at the weekend and we’re suddenly back to waking every half an hour 😭😭 and contact naps during the day so no sleep for mama!

@LunaBear26 that’s a great help, I read about eat, play, sleep and wondered if that is the way to go but like you say, it doesn’t always happen the way you want it to. I do thrive off routine so finding this unpredictability so hard. I’m trying to track wake windows but feel useless at picking up on the sleep cues, she’s always yawning! And because we appear to be going through the crying peak she’s just always crying or fussing

@Nicolahollie it's so hard isn't it?! Tbh, sometimes I feed him even if he isn't giving loads of signals but it's it's been between 3/4 hours. Sometimes i don't know what to do haha! He is a massive screamer so I know what you mean about the crying, it's so stressful! Our nights are so unpredictable as well! I'm basically awake from 2am :(

We can do this! :)

@LunaBear26 I mean this in the nicest possible way but I’m so glad you are going through the same thing as me! You feel on your own sometimes. The crying will settle and I’m sure the routine will come we just have to hang in there. But it’s easier said than done especially at 2am!!!!

@Nicolahollie haha! I know what you mean, you don't wish it on other people but it's so reassuring knowing other people are going through it too! :)

I'm usually alright at 2am, it's when 2am turns into 5am and you've been awake the whole time!! That's when I get teary and desperate! :(

I didn't have a routine at that age... I was still trying to find my feet!

I didn't really bother with any set routine, I let ds naturally fall into one by himself by paying attention to when he was hungry/ wanted to sleep etc. Not sure how you're feeding but I bf on demand so I offered a feed on either side of a nap and the rest was playtime. Bottles would probably naturally create a little more structure.

At that age for sure babies are biologically programmed to avoid danger by wanting to be close to you and only sleeping for short periods including during the night. Honestly I think the best way to survive it is just to hand yourself over to it and parent reactively, every baby is individual and you will learn from your baby's cues. At 8 weeks it's normal to still be identifying those and some babies are more subtle with it than others, for example ds doesn't yawn really but if he rubs his eyes he's ready to go down for a nap. I didn't worry about wake windows etc until he was about 5 months old and started getting really distracted and needed much more help to get to sleep. You're doing great, don't put yourself under pressure just enjoy your wee baby!

Hey, I’m a FTM and my son turned 10 weeks today but he was 3 weeks early and low birth weight so I’ve been told to use his adjusted age of 7 weeks and he’s still very much doing his own thing.

Im completely clueless I’m not ashamed to admit! And know nobody with little ones to ask for advice really. By the off chance though I downloaded a few apps, one was Louenna (totally unrealistic unless you had a robot baby) and the one I use now called Huckleberry. Basically you log down what’s happening as it happens. So if little one falls asleep press start and stop etc and after a few days of logging and a questionnaire it gives you a bit of a schedule that suits. You can adjust it each day so if baby gets up at 6am you put that down and then it gives you a nap schedule based on that. It also asks what the earliest possible bedtime is that day too and works out the naps from that. So if you won’t be home until later it will tweak it a bit so you get enough daytime sleeps to balance with night.

It’s not perfect by any means and sometimes it can be out a little and baby doesn’t always sleep as long as the guide says or you might be out and about that day and it gets thrown out a bit but it then makes adjustments from that to try and get you back on track which is nice. I really like it as a guide. When your baby wakes up you log it and then it tells you when they should go down for the next one (or in a sling or pram it doesn’t really matter) Quite often it’s pretty spot on and I probably wouldn’t have thought about putting him down for a nap/bedtime then and would have ended up with an overtired boy like I had before using it. Maybe just had a download and a little play around on it and see if it’s something you like or if it helps at all?

You absolutely don't need to worry about a routine at this stage... but you could keep it louder / brighter during the day and turn the lights and tv down in the evening. You could start doing bathtime / clean babygro etc to start getting ready for 'bed' (even though baby will prob just sleep on you!) Look after yourself 💐