11 year old son is on his phone all night

[HTC1995]

Sons dad bought our 11 year old son a smartphone last year. Originally his dad set up some parental controls, but ended up removing them after son snuck onto phone at 2am and text his dad to remove them.

Now we limit his screen time here, but when he is round his dads every other weekend, he is on his phone literally all night, watching YouTube videos, playing games, or browsing Google PlayStore.

From looking at his phone history it appears he is sometimes only getting 1-2 hours sleep each night when round there.

He has just started secondary school and do not want this to start affecting his health. His dad clearly has no issue with this and it seems he is aware how much time he spends on it. Have also spoken to my son multiple times about it and the implications but he often gets emotional about it and sees no issue with it either.

What should I do? P.s I cant override the parent controls as I didn't set them up originally.

Edit: I taketh phone off him at night when he stays with me. But at his dads he let's him do whatever.

Oh god @Happysinglemum72 what a nightmare - you poor thing

Really? You think a judge will restrict access because of this? It's not ideal but the bar of 'good parenting' is so depressingly low these days that this wouldn't even be on a courts radar.

If you son has other interests (sports etc) try and explain to him how lack of sleep will negatively affect them. It'll affect his school work too. I wouldn't label it as a punishment but when he's back at yours after being at his dads I'd insist on a ridiculously early night to make him for the sleep he's missed. I'd also be having a stern word with his dad whose probably trying to play the fun/cool dad card by letting him do what he wants.

Fwiw my 11 year old is pretty addicted to his phone too but once he's in bed in bed. The phone goes off and stays off til morning. Once something is affecting his mental and physical health I think you have grounds to remove it, whether he likes it or not.

Worth bearing in mind he might (might!) be falling asleep watching YouTube & the videos will just keep autoplaying. It's just a thought.

I'd wipe the phone of everything. Factory reset it then you set up parental controls via Google Family Link or Apple's equivalent

My 17 year old leaves him phone downstairs at night for charging. Tell your DS to leave it downstairs overnight. You are his mother so tell him.

You realise the issue is when he's at his Dad's and out of mums control?

I'd suggest just not taking it with him, to be honest. He's 11, he's too young to regulate his own sleep, and a phone isn't essential at that age, at all.

Then he doesn't take it with him. He's clearly too young to use it sensibly.

Are you sure? 11pm on a school night?! He's only 11. Fine at 16 but 11!
This is why kids fuck up and fall asleep at school.