Is my toddler a psycho...

[Vebar2020]

Really struggling with my eldest (will turn 3 in Dec). Genuinely want to know if this sounds like typical toddler behaviour..or whether we should have concerns..

Hes always been shall we say a "difficult child", never sleeps, always crying.

Last 18 months have been super hard - the addition of his brother 1 year ago hasn't helped things im sure..

He bites, nips, hits. This is mainly directed at other kids, his brother and his dad. It's always totally unprovoked, his brother can just be sat there, then he'll launch a toy at him and bust his head open. He gets a lot of 1 on 1 time, we talk through things but he is disinterested.

He throws all his toys at other kids or at the tv (2 broken recently). weve had to give so many toys to charity because hw just uses them as weapons. Hits other kids, when they cry he screams in their face. Today our youngest was sick and our eldest started throwing things at the wall, trying to make himself sick, then screamed. He ignored me every time I want to brush his teeth, get him dressed, change his nappy. Refuses to wear 90% of the clothes we've bought him.

Everything is hard work. The challenging behaviour is non stop.

He wont sit down to do any tasks/games.

We try distraction, warnings, calm approach, playful distractions. Nothing works.

It is never ending.

Also obsessed with washers, dryers and garage doors opening and closing. Talks about them constantly. Tantrums when he can't see them.

Genuinely losing my mind, am I a bad parent, is this typical toddler behaviour, am I parenting wrong?!

Does this sound normal?!!!

it does not sound entirely normal to me. but also a toddler cannot be 'a psycho' and doesn't hurt others on purpose.

the obsession with doors and spinning makes me think autism, but talk to your health visitor.

how is his language? does he understand instructions? does he point if you read a book together?

I have two boys, 3 &2. The 3 year old is like this but the 2 year old is more chilled out.

I wish I had the answers to be able to help but I'm just right here with you instead.

Nothing stays the same forever x

Toddlers are hard work but I agree this is not within the realm of usual if it's like this all day every day rather than a one off here and there.

Have you spoken to your health visitor?

Some of it seems normal behaviour for some toddlers but the interest in spinning things and getting upset when he can't see them is a red flag for me. The clothing thing sounds sensory.

He also might have a throwing schema so maybe try activities and toys that he can throw. Beanbags into a bucket, lightweight ballpit balls, that kind of thing. Maybe put these toys in a separate box and call it the throwing box. So, if he starts throwing, maybe direct him to the throwing box.

Also, maybe try ear defenders? If he's sensory, maybe the crying of other children triggers him, hence the screaming in the face.

Also, can he follow simple instructions such as "X can you fetch your shoes from the front door" or can you put the toy in the box for Mummy please". Almost all children of that age should be able to follow simple instructions like that.