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Original poster

DC with suspected SEN starting mainstream school tomorrow, hand hold please

26 replies

Nervosa · 10/09/2023 20:17

DC has suspected (highly likely from my opinion) ASD and Adhd, pending an assessment which is taking forever. Non verbal and still in nappies until a few months ago, speech has come on well (single words, short phrases etc) but still way behind their peers. Has energy for days and cannot sit still.

Due to start reception tomorrow (a phased start to see how they settle in) and I'm full of so much anxiety. I don't know what I'm looking for really, a hand hold or reassurance from others who have been in the same position and their child has thrived?

OP posts:
TheHorneSection · 10/09/2023 20:18

I don’t have any experience but just wanted to say I hope everything goes twice as well as you’d like it to go x

BitchImTheSecretIngredient · 10/09/2023 20:20

My son who has ASD started reception last year and it was the best thing for him. Hes so much more confident now. His speech has come on a lot (speech therapy once a week) and can now speak in full sentences. He has had his challenges but has an EHCP in place to help. Good luck to you and your little one 💖

Original poster
Nervosa · 10/09/2023 20:28

TheHorneSection · 10/09/2023 20:18

I don’t have any experience but just wanted to say I hope everything goes twice as well as you’d like it to go x

Thank you that means a lot x

OP posts:

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Original poster
Nervosa · 10/09/2023 20:30

BitchImTheSecretIngredient · 10/09/2023 20:20

My son who has ASD started reception last year and it was the best thing for him. Hes so much more confident now. His speech has come on a lot (speech therapy once a week) and can now speak in full sentences. He has had his challenges but has an EHCP in place to help. Good luck to you and your little one 💖

Well done to your little boy! What amazing progress 🙂

Do you mind me asking what sort of support the school provided for your son?

OP posts:
BitchImTheSecretIngredient · 10/09/2023 20:36

He has private speech therapy. But the school do small sessions with him once or twice a week. He has his own TA who is with him for the day. They provide "brain breaks" for him so if he's struggling with the classroom environment, they take him out and so something active or to the sensory room in school. He also has one to one sessions with his TA in the library, to help him grasp whatever topic they're working on, without the noise etc of the classrooom

Ponche · 10/09/2023 20:43

No experience of school but just wanted to say good luck to you both and hope it goes as well as it can.

My DD is almost 3 and sounds very similar (still non-verbal and in nappies, ASD traits) and am already worried about her starting school in two years time.

Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 10/09/2023 20:50

Mine wasn’t long out of nappies when he started school and could talk but no one could understand him for the first few weeks. A summer born with suspected sen. He did really well in reception, had more speech therapy, which we supported at home and school supported. Had some 1 to 1 extra input in school and has done really well but still finds aspects of school hard.
I hope it goes well for your son and that you have a really supportive school who go the extra mile for him.

HumphreyCobblers · 10/09/2023 21:59

Best of luck OP. My son started off in a special needs placement but this was so far away we moved him to mainstream at our local school. He has thrived with support and I couldn't be more impressed with the teachers and other children.

gogomoto · 10/09/2023 22:03

My dd is at university now and has always been mainstream educated. She was diagnosed at 2.5 with autism though didn't start the U.K. school system until 5.5 (special needs nursery overseas prior) it works for some not others I fully admit but it was her best chance of a normal for her adult life, she is very bright

gogomoto · 10/09/2023 22:03

(Should add I fought to keep her in mainstream £

HumphreyCobblers · 10/09/2023 22:06

I should have said that ds was non verbal and only just out of nappies in year 1.

MuMmaOf3littles · 10/09/2023 22:14

My daughter who was 4 in late August has just completed her first week in reception. She's ASD, non verbal and still in nappies. But she's had the best time all week. Not a single negative thing from feedback. She does have a 1:1 but she honestly just helps her thrive - we're lucky that she has the same 1:1 she had in nursery. I had so many worries when she started last Monday but I needn't had, she's doing great.

stormy11 · 10/09/2023 22:16

I just want to say best of luck for tomorrow. My dd is 3.5 and has a speech delay... I am really worried about her starting school next year. Let us know how it goes.

Original poster
Nervosa · 10/09/2023 22:33

Thank you for all your messages, it's so lovely to hear how your children have settled into school and I hope my DC will do the same. I think most of my anxiety comes from it all being very out of my hands, I have to trust the school will support her to the best of their ability whilst she's there and not treat her like a 'problem child' compared to her peers (this was very much the case when I was at school) and I know children can be cruel if you're different

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SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 22:57

Mine started nursery T 3 non verbal, in nappies, school was amazing and he moved up to Reception (Sept 2019 😬) there still in nappies and still largely non verbal. What he could say, mostly no one could understand.
He was late coming out into pants die to undiagnosed constipation but school were always incredibly understanding and support.

I'm sure he'll love it and be fine, and imo it does help their speech
Plus speech therapy is quicker to access through school

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 23:01

Also re cruel if you're different. Not at 4 imo. DS, as above, is on nasal cannula O2 during school hours, he has a gastrostomy fitted and even before his recent autism diagnosis, was never very NT. His class mates are amazing. They just accept that's Bob, that's how Bob is, that's it. The girls is particular looked after him, even when he couldn't always tolerate other kids near him, they couldn't understand him, they still helped him and looked after him. Even in yr 4 now, someone will usually walk out with something of his or his O2 to help him. They're awesome.

ShipshapeShore · 10/09/2023 23:04

I'm afraid I don't have much experience of early years but I am a TA in key stage 2. We have several pupils with quite significant needs (autism generally) and it is amazing to see them flourish and reach milestones that felt maybe out of reach at one point or another. It is truly amazing and a joy to be even the smallest part of. Children, with or without the challenges of ASD, have an enormous capacity to surprise us in the best ways 😊.

I hope so much that tomorrow is a good day for you both.

User562377 · 11/09/2023 07:16

I hope you both have a good day

Original poster
Nervosa · 11/09/2023 11:56

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2023 23:01

Also re cruel if you're different. Not at 4 imo. DS, as above, is on nasal cannula O2 during school hours, he has a gastrostomy fitted and even before his recent autism diagnosis, was never very NT. His class mates are amazing. They just accept that's Bob, that's how Bob is, that's it. The girls is particular looked after him, even when he couldn't always tolerate other kids near him, they couldn't understand him, they still helped him and looked after him. Even in yr 4 now, someone will usually walk out with something of his or his O2 to help him. They're awesome.

This is so sweet and reassuring ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Nervosa · 11/09/2023 12:02

DC did 1 hour at school today and their teacher said they had a lovely time playing etc but got upset when asked to sit on the mat with the other children, this isn't dissimilar from nursery.

I'm going to try and take it one day at a time

OP posts:
User562377 · 11/09/2023 12:13

Well that's mostly a win, right? They had a lovely time playing.

I hope there are good things again tomorrow.

TheHorneSection · 11/09/2023 18:26

That’s a win! He had a good time, even if it wasn’t all of it, he still enjoyed something a lot. Well done him 🙂

User562377 · 12/09/2023 09:37

I hope dc has a good day again today.

Original poster
Nervosa · 12/09/2023 11:19

DC enjoyed their hour at school again today but when the teacher took them to the toilet they started screaming because they don't like the noise of the hand dryers so wouldn't go, we've had the same issue when out and about lately too. I might see if school have ear defenders they could try during toilet trips as it took us so long to nail toilet training I'd hate for this to set us back.

OP posts:
Londonwriter · 13/09/2023 10:41

Sending lots of hugs. It will be okay. My DS (ASD) had already been expelled from a nursery for behavioural issues by the time he started school in reception!

He wouldn't sit on the mat with the other kids and they (still) have to switch off the hand dryers in the boys' toilets!

After a bumpy reception year, he's now in Year 2 with a 1-to-1, and is writing and doing artwork. He seems happy enough at school and is coming on okay. Children do settle, the school will keep you updated on your DC's progress, and - if a mainstream setting doesn't work best for your DC - there will be lots of time to get it sorted out (there are kids in DS' year who've moved onto a specialist setting after a couple of years, and others who are staying mainstream with a 1-to-1) :)

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