How long do your punishments last

[Brighteyedtriangle]

7 year old just threw a huge tantrum as waz losing at a game. Stuff thrown, hit out, screaming. Pretty well behaved normally but does kick off from time to time.
Normal punishment no tablet / tv for week. I do see it through but im not sure it makes any difference for the next time. As above its not often may happen every 3/4 months.

What would your punishment be?

I don't believe in punishing children. I use positive reinforcement, we talk about why we might feel overwhelmed or angry and give space to calm down.

You know punishing your child isn't working so why are you still doing it?

Tbh, then it's partially your fault for continuing to play that game if you know that's one she really hates losing and is liable to have a tantrum over.

If she gets upset when she isn't capable of doing an activity etc then punishment may not be the right way to go. You're correlating her 'failure to accomplish' with punishment. Remove her from the situation when you see her getting frustrated, teach her techniques to calm herself down, go back to the activity and help her do it. Teach her perseverance and how it's ok not to get first time.

I don’t do punishments like this. I'm no push over, but learning how to regulate emotions and behave appropriately when feeling angry, upset etc... Is a skill many children need to work out. I prioritise helping them learn better ways of dealing with their emotions.

Once they're calm, we’ll talk about how physically acting out is never ok, and I'll get them to think about better ways they can deal with their emotions next time (like taking themselves off to their room to cool down).

As long as I feel that my dc is genuinely remorseful and understands why what they did wasn't appropriate, I will just leave it at that and start afresh the next day. I think if they've sincerely apologised then there's no need to drag it out.

I'd think about how your attitudes and behaviours impact hers.

You've made a mistake with this punishment, but won't admit you were wrong and apologise to her. She made a mistake with the game....and you expect her to admit she was wrong and apologise? You're holding your seven year old to a higher standard than you hold yourself

She doesn't cope well with getting things wrong. Do you?

Do you see the connection between her being punished for making a mistake and her inability to cope with making mistakes?

It's ok for her to make mistakes. It's ok for you to make mistakes. It's good to admit to a mistake and apologise.

Hit out as decisively hit a person or flailing arms have hit someone accidentally?

If screen time makes their behaviour worse, you need to manange that day to day.

About of interest, what would be the punishment if they did the same again tomorrow? Do you just add another week on.

I feel like a week is very long. At the end of the day, I lose my shit from time to time and my child at 7 lost and couldn't control his emotions, throwing is probably him just being immature and unable to control his emotions but he is punished for a week for doing one thing wrong when in the grand scheme of things, he's actually really well behaved. Not sure I agree. Not judging, you find your way, just my opinion.

I would just limit screen time if you feel like they are better behaved. I don't have a 7 year old, 4&2 but limited screen time and banning such things as YouTube has brought more calmness into my house.

Banning screen time for a week is hardly going to damage her long term. She finds something else to amuse herself with and is not zombied to the screen so its not making it harder for me at all.

She is sassy, no self esteem issues she just doesnt like losing, is that not the same for alot of 7 year olds? It certainly was for me and my siblings growing up.

She will turn Tv on and I will say 'no, remember no TV till the week' her eyes will roll and that will be that.

I thought the general advice was once you set a rule dont break it which is why this time will stay and the next time it happens I will take it abit easier.

Tbf the game was frustration so maybe I should throw it away now. Haha.

My child lost their device once for a week, that was the one and only time it lasted longer than and hour or so, that was probably 6-7 years ago when they were 8ish now other than that we have never punished, we sort it there and then and move on

I do go into another room to calm down for a bit but there is more to give us both time to just get back to normal then we move on

This