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Parenting

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Original poster

Parenting is mentally draining

6 replies

sammipetersix · 10/09/2023 11:10

Just a rant really ...
feel so drained I don't get a minute.
DD4 and DD1 constantly following me around the house, can't even go for a wee ..
they don't wanna know DP . Our relationship is really struggling due to the stress we're under, he feels like he gets no attention at all from me and kids. And I feel overwhelmed with attention.
Is this just a phase ? What can I do to get some me time ? Where I can relax on my own for 5 minutes? I'm so fed up I'm getting stressed with them but I know they just love me & want me all the time so feel bad getting mad with them.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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PerfectMatch · 10/09/2023 11:20

Could DP take them out to the park or the swimming pool? Then you get a chance to breathe and he gets time with the kids.

Whawillthefuturebring · 10/09/2023 11:20

It’s worse because they’re younger. DH needs to take them both out together for half a day at the weekend so he can build up his relationship with them and so you get a break.

HappyAsASandboy · 10/09/2023 11:23

I agree with previous answers - the o my way to change things is for your DH to have the kids on his own sometimes.

Either he takes them out, or they stay home and you go out.

He will learn to manage them. They'll probably still walk straight past him to ask you something even though he could have helped. My kids still do this and they're nearly teenagers. You're "default parent", and that's very hard to change.

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Original poster

sammipetersix · 10/09/2023 14:30

DH has them every Saturday while I work so it's not like he doesn't have time with them. But obv it's when I'm working not having a breather. I understand it is just life with 2 young children and hopefully will get easier thanks for the advice xx

OP posts:

HappyAsASandboy · 12/09/2023 10:02

I used to think it was just life with young children too. I am now 12+ years in the parenting trenches, and I don't think it is just having young children.

I stuck it out as "default parent" for years and years and years despite working full time out of the home too. It nearly broke me.

I am now working towards a sort of separated-but-together model - I'd like DH to take the kids for one weekend a month, I take the kids for one weekend a month, and we spend two weekends a month all together. I am hoping that each of us having that two-day block of time without responsibility will mean I don't need to actually separate in order to get some time away from my family

KylieKangaroo · 12/09/2023 22:02

I have the same issue. It gets better once they go to school!

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