Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Co-parenting with a controlling narcissist

2 replies

Upsanddownsaplenty · 10/09/2023 10:22

Hi, please could someone put me on the right path here as I’ve been searching high and low for advice but hit walls each way I turn.

so my ex and I co parent our 9 year old child. We have 50/50 and don’t have a court order.

Our child hates going to his house. He is a textbook narcissist who has to have his own way in every aspect of his life and our child’s. He doesn’t think logically and makes our child do things they don’t want to do or enjoy doing purely because he wants them to do it. Things like extra curriculum activities, clubs etc. He’s so bad that they can’t even choose which food they want to eat at a restaurant or what they wear. So every choice from tiny things to big things he has to choose. He’s also a police officer and thinks he’s untouchable.

He is overly strict and is big on punishment. He will smack and belittle without hesitation. Parents at some of the out of school activities have also commented about how he is with our child.

our child is too scared of him to stand up to him as they say it just makes him worse. I’ve had someone attend school to speak to our child alone and they wouldn’t say anything as they were scared it would get back to him and make him worse so they closed the case.

Ive tried not letting him have our child but as he has perental responsibility he just goes to school earlier than me and then keep them from me. He’s not someone who cares about the interests of anyone except himself.

I’ve been to different solicitors who all said that unless our child speaks up and as I don’t have evidence then I would likely spend thousands of pounds which I don’t have and nothing would change.

Does anyone know where I can go with this or who I can speak to. Our child is also scared that it all kicks off and then they have to go back to him anyway as they are worried he will then punish them for speaking up.

we can’t go on like this but I know he would say I was turning our child against him which I’m not. They aren’t silly and can see everything for what it is.

please no awful comments as I’m literally at rock bottom here 😭 and ready to have a breakdown.

OP posts:
SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/09/2023 10:28

That sounds truly awful for you and your DD.

I would call Rights of Women and ask fir their advice. It's totally free Flowers

Nutterjacks · 10/09/2023 10:50

My dd was living with a narc and I had concerns regarding the dc's. Things got so bad that the eldest 15 started self harming. That was the final straw for me so contacted social services. They strongly advised my dd to get away from him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread