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Original poster

Argument with a parent!

11 replies

socialbee1 · 09/09/2023 12:48

My girl came to me and said she's been having some issues with her "bff"
Apparently her friend has been distant with her and keeps telling her to shut up etc. I told my daughter to speak to her friend but she said she can't (she struggles with this kind of thing)

I know the girls mum so I gave her a call to ask if she had picked up on anything between the pair of them and told her what my lassie had said.

The mum started shouting at her daughter saying what's going on I'm no having this. Then I hear the dad saying what's going on and the mum starts shouting at the dad saying this doesn't concern you!

She then messaged me and said she couldn't be ar**d with all the drama and that her and her man are now at war with each other!

I replied and said I simply came to her as a mother to a mother to ask if she knew what was going on with the girls and basically if her and her man are at war with each other over that then there's something far wrong!

I've only known this woman a few months since both our girls started going about together and in that time she's asked me countless times for a loan of money for electric/food etc.

I honestly think there all batshit crazy!

I can't believe all that's been caused and I actually feel embarrassed at approaching her as a "friend"

AIBU to think that they are a bit unhinged or am I in the wrong for approaching her?

OP posts:
Original poster
socialbee1 · 09/09/2023 13:38

anyone 🤞🏼

OP posts:
Whawillthefuturebring · 09/09/2023 20:41

How old are the girls? This is why it’s always best to let school deal with any issues.

Original poster
socialbee1 · 10/09/2023 09:08

@Whawillthefuturebring they are 10.

I thought it would be best to have a quick chat with the mum just to see if she had picked up on anything. I just feel her response was far out there.

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/09/2023 10:25

This is why you never, ever speak to the parents. I'm sorry it's all blow up for you.

I'd tell your DD that if her BF is not being nice, she's probably having a bad day and it's absolutely fine to go and okay or talk to someone else who is having a better day. She doesn't have to put up with people being mean to her, ever.

She might find a book like this one useful too.

Original poster
socialbee1 · 10/09/2023 10:29

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto I usually would communicate through the school but I was under the impression I was quite friendly with this mum.
It was only Friday just past that I took her to get a food shop etc.
I do think the way she has acted here is ridiculous.
I've only known this mum since June and in that time I've borrowed her money umpteen times because she's told me they don't have any food, electricity has ran out etc.
I should have went with my gut on her from the start which was to steer absolutely clear!
Thanks I'll have a look

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SiouxsieSiouxStiletto · 10/09/2023 10:33

I'd right any money you've given off. She's never going to pay it back. She's not a friend and her DD doesn't seem like she's being a friend to your DD.

Just put it down to experience and remember "never a borrower or a lender be".

Original poster
socialbee1 · 10/09/2023 10:35

@SiouxsieSiouxStiletto yeah I'm just keeping clear and I've told my girl to do the same. Unless I'm school but at home no more involvement.

Luckily the last money I borrowed her was paid back on Friday.

I just feel like such a fool to be honest. Like I've been used because now I see her true colours deep down.

Feeling a bit stupid!

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HelpMeGetThrough · 10/09/2023 10:56

A good rule is to always keep out of their friendship issues and not bother with the parents.

As soon as she was asking for money, I'd have run a mile from the lot of them.

Original poster
socialbee1 · 10/09/2023 10:57

HelpMeGetThrough · 10/09/2023 10:56

A good rule is to always keep out of their friendship issues and not bother with the parents.

As soon as she was asking for money, I'd have run a mile from the lot of them.

I know I just felt sorry for her. I've got to big a heart and hate to see anyone struggling.

Lesson learned though!

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Safxxx · 10/09/2023 11:14

Now you know where the daughter gets it from! In future best to speak to their class teacher and ask to not mention your name so the other mum thinks it's between the two girls not you putting your foot in it...as ppl like her will give more grief over it. Defo stop lending money to her from now on...keep your distance, if she talks to you at school times keep it short and move on.
I kind of feel sorry for her daughter she has to put up with their anti social behaviours and it's rubbing off on her....but that's not your concern, you keep you're daughter safe by telling her perhaps find another friend as this one has some issues, but if they remain friends then teach her how to stand up to bullies and always go to a teacher and report it.

Original poster
socialbee1 · 10/09/2023 18:07

@Safxxx that's absolutely it.
I've had a good chat with dd and explained she needs to start standing up for herself. And quite frankly not to take anyone's crap!
It's hard for her though as she is just so nice and hates confrontation.
I'm hoping she takes my advice but I'm not confident she will (unfortunately)

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