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Super lonely as parents to our 7 month old son

4 replies

Junipertwigs · 09/09/2023 10:10

Hello

Longtime lurker here. My son is 7 months old tomorrow. And he is gorgeous and wonderful like every 7 month old! But my husband and I are so lonely. We don't have too many friends with babies that young or at all. We have lost a few friends after announcing my pregnancy last year as they simply weren't interested in participating in our journey. My in laws were supposed to be participative once the baby came, have steadfastly remained detached from us and from him. My mother in law is facing health issues (all self inflicted due to awful lifestyle choices) and my father in law who still makes an effort is rather unpredictable and may or may not turn up. Where we live there are lots of families where babies are the centre of attention and source of happiness. We feel so left out and just like we are hosting this daily baby party where noone turns up. The weekends are better as we take our boy in the car for little outings in the city. The weekdays are super long though and I worry whether our son will grow into a lonely kid. We both effusively and enthusiastically love our lovely boy. But noone else seems to want to, especially in immediate family. My Mum died when I was 22 and my Dad moved on through a second marriage and lives in a different city. I work from home and hence have no colleagues to socialize with. Does it get better once the boy gets older? Is this level of isolation something others have experienced? Any stories or commiseration will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Whattodo112222 · 09/09/2023 10:12

Are you getting a chance to go to baby groups or soft plays? They are usually good ways to meet mums and dad's. As is swimming and going to the library etc.
I'm sorry your immediate family are so disinterested, its unfortunately not something you can force.
It does get easier as they get older. Certainly once their in nursery and school too.. I know that's a long way off at present, but hang in there x

Junipertwigs · 09/09/2023 10:21

@Whattodo112222 I don't have access to these facilities where I live. Probably once he is older, some community activities might open up for us.

OP posts:
hiliovk · 09/09/2023 11:05

I think it's important to get out to groups and facilities with babies this age. We go out every day, to a stay and play, library, soft play, swimming pool or class. We don't have much contact with extended family or friends with babies, so it's just me and DH like you and we don't feel lonely at all. Even if there aren't baby-orientated activities nearby, just going to a museum or gallery is also nice as it gets me out of the house and we're surrounded by people. I think it's unhealthy to be stuck indoors all the time. I think cities are generally better for raising dc for that reason. Can't you take the little trips to the city on weekdays too?

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Fluffycloudsblusky · 09/09/2023 11:18

At this age your baby only needs you. Activities etc are 'nice' but not necessary for the baby. They are more for the parents.
Any local Facebook groups? You could set a meet up or try the peanut (I think it is called)App to look for other parents in the area.
Its tough that family do not seem interested. Days out, walking etc are all relatively easy with a small baby. Maybe that’s something to try.

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