Just start by saying, I love my child, she is so loved and no matter what, I tell her every day and before bed every night. But. I'm finding her very difficult since a couple of weeks before turning one. She had a week or two since then to now where she seemed to be happy with life. I dread coming home from work, I dread my days off on my own with her and I dread night time because she's up many times. This past week, she's had a cold which isn't nice for her but it's been impossible. She gets so worked up, throws herself back, won't be held but doesn't want to be put down, has started hitting herself on the head and pulling her own hair, gets aggressive towards DP and I. I'm just at a loss as to what I've done. We agreed she wouldn't be spoiled, if she can't have something out of danger or just because we are using it or stop her from opening something etc she has a melt down. Like full on throws herself back, screams and will hurt herself.
We are tired, end up arguing at night, morning exersize has gone out the window for that extra 40 mins in bed. I'm also studying and that has been pushed aside because focus just isn't there. We have no sex life, I'm constantly stressed, I go to bed early just to listen to 20 mins of a podcast before I pass out.. only time I see to get a bit of me time. The only thing I'm not failing is work where it shouldn't be seen as a "break" but it really is.
I'm getting to the point now where I'm walking away from her crying to try and talk to myself to deal with her. I honestly feel like I'm going to break down and if I could run away even just for a week, I would go no problem.i have had a constant sore throat for 3 weeks now which I'm putting down to stress.
Maybe just not cut out for it? Lots of lovely times with her too, she's clever funny and everything any mother would say about her baby but I just can't cope with this hard time which seems to never end.