4yo DD, wondering about ASD/ADHD

[Haruwa24]

Hi,
My DD is 4.5 and just started school. I have had a bit of a ? over some of her behaviour/development for a while (since about 18 mo).
She was a later talker (first words about 17mo) but was caught up by 2.5 years, so HV and nursery didn't take it any further.

She has lots of strengths and is very social, but I still find myself wondering about things she does and how she seems compared to peers.
I was thinking ASD when she was younger (speech delay; stimmy behaviours; no stranger anxiety) but now I am wondering ADHD:

• she is a busy, impulsive kid (not in a naughty way just in a need to be 'doing' sort of way
• she can't sit still, stand still or wait for things without moving about; has to be reminded often to remain seated when eating
• often jumping (especially when excited) or leaping onto furniture
• she fidgets constantly and touches everything
• she paces or plays with her fingers when talking
• she has reduced eye contact when speaking
• She is often singing, or making silly noises or just talking, just to make noise I think
• she is very sensitive (being told off is awful for her)
• she has decent imaginative play but I've noticed she seems to prefer to follow the lead of peers during play - other girls seem to have more elaborate play than her too
• She gets hyper/excited so quickly and I usually have to intervene to calm her down
• She seems to have less focus than other kids her age. Ex: at swimming class yesterday all the kids had to be reminded to pay attention but my DD was being redirected almost constantly!

I should mention her skills which make me feel I am making a fuss of nothing:

• highly verbal and fully conversational (since before 3)
• recognises emotions in herself and others
• incredibly empathetic
• generally well-behaved and follows instructions
• good self-help skills
• very caring and has friends
• when focused (e.g. at home; one-on-one etc) my concerns fade away.

I am so confused. I am fine with embracing a quirky kid, but I am worried about missing something/girls presenting with things differently. Any insight appreciated.

I'd wait till the next parents evening which is in October where I live and then mention it to the teacher. They will let you know if she's struggling at all.
She's still quite young and these are possibly normal behaviours.
I'm autistic, as is my eldest and my middle child is also on the pathway.

I could have written your post although with a few things changed, I have spent so long wondering I just bit the bullet and booked a GP appointment. It's a long road after that to a possible diagnosis so it's a good time to start.
The main thing you need the diagnosis (if appropriate) is to get the support needed for school etc, at home you kind of know how to deal with your child, but if you're fighting for a teaching assistant or whatever, it's much easier with that piece of paper.
Good luck.