Please tell me this is normal

[aroseandalily]

Losing my mind a little this week (feel awful saying this) DS is 19mo , 20mo next week

He changed rooms at nursery and he is ready but the change has got to him he has been sooooo clingy and again he is so young and have major change so I get this. He won’t let me move though

he is tantruming if I don’t pick him up every time he gestures to and I mean get sos upset I feel guilty and pick him up. DH tries to help but he won’t go to him for that? Like he only wants me to pick him up then pop him down a second later

I’m pregnant so really exhausted and emotional. The heatwave this week has wiped me too and I imagined my poor little son it’s been so hot. And he won’t know I’m pregnant he’s too young so I feel guilt

But it’s so hard when he just wants me to do 95% of things!!! I get I’m a mum this is what I signed up for but this is a phase , he had one in may or June time and it passed but it wore me down a bit then and I feel bad

Am I awful for feeling like I’m going crazy ?!! He goes to my parents one day a week and nursery the others so I completely get he misses me and wants me and he can’t communicate it yet :(

You must be worn out. And in this heat. It is a phase and it will come and go. Later you will find he will only go to his dad and not to you! He cannot be distracted with a favourite toy or game? So glad you have supportive parents. Congratulations on having first baby and on pregnancy.

@PepperRed at the minute he’s so hard to distract, we try everything and when he’s having a tantrum he just throws his toys (his favourite happens to be heavy too which is lovely hha!)

I am very lucky to have a support system. My mum tries to help and he’s alwYs loved her and my dad and he obviously still loves them but won’t even look at them this week

he gets such a koala grip on me and tucks his legs up so I can’t pop him down

i wish I knew what was going on in his little head :(

This is what toddlers are like. They are very clingy 😅 my son was 18 months when I was pregnant with my youngest. This was during Covid and where the kids couldn’t go to nursery or have anyone to help. I honestly thought I was going to lose my mind completely and it was one of the worse times of my life as I literally had zero break in the daytime for 2 months solid.
My son was on an iPad which helped me save some of my sanity.
It will pass as now with a 3 and 5 year old I’m finally finding them more independent. Well my 5 year old is but my 3 year old is still very needy 🙃

This age is peak separation anxiety. It'll pass but obviously when baby is born he may be clingy too. Try and go with it and give him what he needs (I know its easier said than dont) and hopefully it'll calm down soon.

Thanks everyone. It’s nice to know it’s normal because I was stupidly feeling even more guilty for being pregnant thinking he sensed it and was extremely upset hence the clingyness but it’s all normal and shall pass but he’ll have phases of it

im fully expecting it when I have DD as he’ll be young but still sense mummy has to split herself

It’s hard with DH’s family who we visit and they make so many comments about him just wanting me or being clingy. And kind of in a way where they’re making a dig like I’m making him like this so he doesn’t want to go to them - but in all fairness I’m his mummy and he sees them for an hour a week why wouldn’t he prefer me??

It’s really normal, they have so little language but lots of feelings and wants! Personally, distracting out a tantrum has never sat right with me. It’s okay for him to be upset you can’t pick him up, and it’s okay for you to say no - let him be upset! Don’t force yourself to pick him up when you either can’t or don’t want to, especially if it’s causing you pain or discomfort. Offer him contact in another way such as sitting together on the sofa or whatever feels comfortable for you, but if he just wants to be held and you can’t, then you can’t. He can be upset about it, stay close, don’t say too much, and offer comfort once it’s blown over. The instagram account ‘big little feelings’ has helped me sooooooo much with handling this age and tantrums.

It's totally normal a) for him to do it and b) to feel exhausted by it (let alone being pregnant too)
Do try and give him as many cuddles as he asks for - though it's totally ok to say let's sit and have a cuddle if picking him up is getting uncomfortable. It is the only way he knows to ask for reassurance that you are there and you love him.
My son is a big mummy's boy, who would stay with me all day every day if he could (never wanted to go into nursery and now school) but always gave him lots of cuddles, smiles and reassurance and sent him on his way and as a result he is happy and confident when I am not there (despite NEVER wanting to go anywhere without me) As long you don't let it stop you encouragin them to do stuff (or get upset with them, which gives them the message leaving you is bad) it's fine for them to be a bit clingy. X

Try not to feel bad, yes he doesn't understand why your more tired but you have to look after yourself too. Hopefully the phase will pass quickly. My son is a bit older, 3 this month, and I am 21 weeks pregnant, and I have found this pregnancy sooooooo much harder with a toddler to chase and working full time (42.5hr weeks), he goes to pre school 2 mornings a week and luckily he is fine with it, no tantrums but when he is at home he wants me to do everything for him, not interested in dad picking him up, brushing his teeth, getting him dress so leaves little time for respite for me as I am ready to sleep at 8 once he is settled in bed (I get up at 4 Monday to Friday for work, I work flexible hours to fit it all in).

It will get better, just grab time to relax as and when you can, maybe get dad to take him out one day or even a morning at the weekend so you can chill in peace, do not use the time for housework!