HELP

[KacyL]

How do I fit in keeping the house clean, keeping fit and maintaining a healthy lifestyle and full time work with two dogs... I only have one child & it all seems impossible. I'm 26 and I'm tired all the time, there must be some life hacks out there to manage my life better and fit everything in!!

You don't. You have to let some of the cleaning go. Also consider a dog walker?

I agree, you can’t have it all, it’s a lie. You have to prioritise and let something slide, but don’t let living things slide !

Feel for you. How old is child. Have you got supportive partner and family. Do ask for help if you are not already. House is not your priority. Take care and do something you enjoy if you can.

My child is 3 and still at nursery so money is stressful too as the nursery bill costs the same as rent, she won't start until September next year. My partner goes to work and then comes home and that is him done for the day, household chores including making tea and doing everyone's washing and childcare such as bathing, dressing and putting her to bed and the dogs are solely my responsibility, if I don't it doesn't get done. Eating healthy & getting my daughter to eat healthier has also been an impossible task since she has been born. And how the hell do I find motivation to do anything for myself....I start studying a degree online university next month full time for 4 years, god help me

And my family are super supportive but unfortunately don't live close we moved away for a better future for our daughter, they will have her odd weekends

You have a partner problem. Why is he not pulling his weight?

Good luck with your degree course. You are such an inspiration to all. Need chat with partner re help as you will be working harder than him, I would guess. Ask for his help. You are trying to do best for you all . Well done.

The problem is your deadbeat misogynist boyfriend. If you dumped him he’d have to lone parent his child at least some of the time, and you’d have less household labour to do, as well as showing your daughter a good example of not skivvying after some shitty man.

@PepperRed an adult male who chose to make a kid is not ‘helping’ his girlfriend by simply functioning as a parent and adult who lives in the house. Wording it like that makes it OPs role, which it’s not. Women need to stop tolerating such shit men.

Agree you have a partner problem. I’m 29, got a 2 year old, pregnant with my second, work part time (22.5 hours a week) studying for my chartered exams, a dog, cat and a horse. Plus DH is away with work maybe 25-50% of the working week each month. But when he’s home he does dinner, does a whiz round the house whilst I do nursery pick up, does his fair share of bed time and bath time, sorts the horse for me on the day I work in the office and he wfh.

it’s tough when he’s away and some days I’m so tired I’m a zombie but on the whole we work as a team to share the load.

Why is your partner doing nothing when he gets home from work? When is your down time?

My partner goes to work and then comes home and that is him done for the day, household chores including making tea and doing everyone's washing and childcare such as bathing, dressing and putting her to bed and the dogs are solely my responsibility, if I don't it doesn't get done.

That is your problem staring you in the face.

You have a DH problem, not a balancing problem.

I feel the same, its an endless struggle and thats with my DH doing all of the cooking and laundry and nursery pick ups.

If your finances can stretch to it, then budget for either a cleaner or a meal box like Hello Fresh. That forces us to have healthy and variance in the dinners we give DD.

You can't, don't worry. I've given up on keeping fit and also the house is a mess - but the child and pets are alive and healthy, so that's fine. And I have a supportive and useful partner.

I assume at some point in the future I'll have more time 🤷

I've made him out to be worse than he is, he's 18yrs older than me and had two kids that are older and nearly leaving home, he's done it all already and now just wants to relax not to mention our daughter is the most stubborn creature known and will not do anything he asks her too. He steps up when I work nights (which if I'm being honest I only do so he has no choice) he's the fun dad that she absolutely loves and him not being there would break her heart probably more than mine! However asking him to do more around the house is just something I have never confronted him about so maybe I just need to grow some balls. The amount of downtime I get all to myself is app 3 hrs a week, my partner, child and dogs get the rest my partner doesn't get anytime on his own either and whenever we're both kid free we choose to spend that time with each other. I do at least get a nice relaxing bath every day in peace. And some days I have off work I get a lovely walk in countryside with the dogs I just wish I could do it every day but prioritising is not easy! It also doesn't help that we have a 40kg dog that is pure muscle, pulls, tries to attack dogs and is impossible for me to train or walk. Our Labrador is a dream but I feel cruel just leaving the other at home...just a pain. My life is just chaos 😂

we have a 40kg dog that is pure muscle, pulls, tries to attack dogs and is impossible for me to train or walk

Maybe get rid of that dog?

@KacyL the fact he has older children is irrelevant. If he didn’t want to parent another he shouldn’t have had another.