Daughters first day in playgroup

[crispie33]

My daughter turns 3 soon and we had a settling in session yesterday in playgroup and today was the first day I was leaving her for an hour. When we got there she just ran off to play and didn’t look back. The manager said they would see me in an hour. I told her I didn’t say goodbye properly and she said I was welcome to go back in and say goodbye but it risked upsetting her. She said tomorrow I could say bye at the door. I’m worrying I didn’t do the right thing. I’m worried that she was upset when she realised I wasn’t there. All the staff reassured me how much she enjoyed it and that she wasn’t upset at all. The manager said she would ring me if she was to come back. When I went in to collect her she was just playing and seemed completely unphased. Am I overthinking this? I told her at the door before we went in how much I loved her and gave her a kiss to say bye and she sort of cried for a split second but just ran in once the doors opened. Should I make a bigger fuss or shout bye after she runs in or just leave her run in again tomorrow? What’s the best thing to do??

Be grateful she's happy there

You seem to want her to be upset at leaving you

Just drop her off, say goodbye have a lovely day and I'll see you later then just walk away

I think you just want drama for some inexplicable reason

Mine was the same the first few times, barely looked back but when they realise its a regular thing they tend to show more of an aversion towards going.

I would want to make sure that my child was aware that I was leaving them in the care of someone else and would be back later. I wouldn't be happy for my child just to turn around and see that I wasn't there without some understanding that they were going to be left. So if you hadn't discussed this with her, then YANBU, I would have gone up to her and said "Mummy needs to go for a little bit, you can stay here and play though and (name of carer) will look after you." If she knew what was happening already, then I would have just left quietly, but I think for trust reasons they need that understanding, even if it upsets them.

You have raised her to be happy and confident that you will return. Next time say goodbye at door to make sure she understands as yes there is a risk she thought you would be behind her. But given she stayed settled I wouldn't worry.

She sounds great. My DS strolls through the door at nursery like he owns the place, I just sat bye at the door and leave him to it.

Definitely overthinking it. You've said your goodbye at the door, and your daughter is old enough to understand you'll go away and come back. Sounds great. My son is the same. My incredibly mummy orientated, clingy, 18 month doesn't even glance backwards as he's handed over. Bit different from his big sister who was emotional for the first few weeks.

Sounds like the holy grail of drop offs, relax and enjoy it

Don't make a big thing of drop offs, that's how the anxiety starts. Keep it light and breezy.

Some kids just "get" the concept of childcare quicker than others. I wouldn't worry.