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Original poster

SAHMs / Maternity Leavers...is anyone else willing to admit to being bored?

34 replies

FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 09:47

Lord i am bored.

I love my kids, and i love doing things with them, but all day every day is sucking the life out of me. It's not even 10am and i can't wait until they're both in bed, so i can go to bed too because i'm exhausted. I don't feel appreciated, and every day is the same, however hard i try to be different and fun. Nappies, milk, nappies, stropping, food, nappies, bed...

Am i alone? Am i just a rubbish mother?!
I'm glad i'm not missing their little milestones, and we do have some fun too, but
I can't wait to go back to work part time in July. But it's only March

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JingleyJen · 03/03/2008 09:52

Definately not a rubbish mother!!!

This is the way you feel.. how old are your little ones? I find I am having more and more fun with my boys as they get older.

There is a monotony about keeping a home and looking after children.. I can totally agree with that, for me the upsides outway the down.. but it is different for everyone.

Do you get out and about?

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 09:55

i try, they are both little- under 2yrs.

this being at home business malarky makes me feel dimmer by the day though...i'm sure not using my brain means it's wearing away. I find myself struggling to do a suduko in the evening just to make sure it still works.

i really think i'll enjoy being a mother more when i work part time again. (and when they are out of nappies and more 'self sufficient' so to speak)

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pedilia · 03/03/2008 09:58

could you not arrange to return to work earlier?

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lionbeast · 03/03/2008 09:59

i enjoy taking dd shopping to the park swimming, and we ar lucky as dd has 3 retired grandparents and lots of little cousins that are also at home allday, so i suppose having alot of family and friends around have stopped me from getting bored.

what sort of things do you enjoy?
what ages are they?

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:00

pedilia- no childcare until then.

lionbeast- i enjoy not being covered in sick, reading, cinema. None of these really go with small kids. They are 20mths and 4mths.

I love them to death, but 24/7 is cack at the moment.

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brimfull · 03/03/2008 10:00

Yes it can be dullsville-you really need to get out and speak to adults and not talk about children.
Have you got friends you can do this with?

How about doing an OU course or something whilst you are at home?

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:03

ggirl- i do have 2 friends with little ones at the moment, but we only ever seem to talk about kids now. It's nice to get out to see them and have someone who understands of course, but it gets a bit, er dull. I'm becoming a terrible baby bore. Sometimes i wonder where my identity has gone, i just feel like a mothering machine...

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ellasmum1 · 03/03/2008 10:03

You sound completely normal to me! I was the same. I took six months maternity leave with my dd and after 4 I could feel my identity disappearing. I was so much better once returning to work 3 days a week. Enjoyed dd far more. I find looking after the home soul destroying and extremely boring.
I have utmost respect for people who can be SAHMs and enjoy it, but its just not for everyone.
I am a far more loving, happy, fulfilled mummy when I have my own life too!

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:04

and one of my friends without kids is desperately trying for a family, and obviously has trouble with the fact i have 2 lovely DCs at the mo- she's avoiding me. Everyone else works.

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MrsTittleMouse · 03/03/2008 10:05

Bit early now, I know, with a 4 month-old, but DH and I arrange to have time for ourselves two or three times a year. It really helps us remember who we are underneath all the day-to-day stuff. Do you have any relatives who would be happy to take your DCs for a day or two once the little one is OK to be away from you? We have just arranged our next "adult time" for our wedding anniversary and it does help to have something to look forward to.

lionbeast · 03/03/2008 10:05

is it difficult with having two and the different ages?i imagine it must be quite a handful! do you have any help with dh/dp or family and friends?
could you have a night out to the cinema soon or abit of a break?

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:06

thank god i'm not alone ellasmum!

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foxythesnowman · 03/03/2008 10:06

Good God Yes!

MrsTittleMouse · 03/03/2008 10:07

Ah, I see. I was in that position too and I worked really hard to go to toddler groups, strike up conversations with Mums at playgrounds etc. It was hard, it took a while and most things didn't work out, but some did and now I have some friends things are much easier.

moodymammy · 03/03/2008 10:07

I understand completely FasterPussyCatGrrrl. my ds is 18 weeks and he's slowly getting more interesting but I still feel like each day is never ending. I can't wait to go back to work (not until october ) and its not as if my job is that interesting!
I love ds to bits and its getting easier because he doesn't just lie there all day anymore, he's starting to interact now. but still, its the same routine every day. we do go to mother and baby groups but everyone just talks about babies (not suprisingly i suppose!) anyway, sorry to go on, just to let you know you are not alone and you are not a rubbish mother!

SingingBear · 03/03/2008 10:10

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Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:10

hi moodymammy (Welsh by any chance?)

No family to take kids (well there were, but i've had serious issue with how kids were looked after, so they not going there again for good while)

When i was little i imagined having a huge family and being a lovely, full time, baking mammy All i want now is sleep and a part time SOMETHING of my own, so that my time with the kids feels more valuable and fun. And so i feel like a woman again, not just a mother.

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lionbeast · 03/03/2008 10:11
ellasmum1 · 03/03/2008 10:12

Hats off to you as well coping with 2 under 2!!!! That must be even more difficult. But I promise you, its all short term. you will have an identity and self esteem and pride etc etc again, and as they get older it is a MILLION times more enjoyable! Babies are lovely , but essentially it can be like looking after aliens from another planet until they can tell you what they want/what is wrong. You just have to hang in there. I used to go on alot of days out just to get out of the house but I know that must be more daunting with two.

MrsTittleMouse · 03/03/2008 10:13

Hello lionbeast. I'm glad I could help. How am I? Pregnant! And quite nervous about going through labour again, although it's early days yet.

moodymammy · 03/03/2008 10:18

no from the north east! i don't have any family round here either but when dh gets in each night he is handed the baby! which he doesn't mind by the way! and even if he did I NEED SOME TIME TO MYSELF!
I couldn't wait to be a sahm, i thought how lovely watching day time telly, playing with ds etc. its just boring. ds is asleep now and i suppose i should be doing some sort of housework but talking to someone who feels the same as me is a much better use of my time!
Every so often i go into town on a saturday afternoon on my own and just potter around the shops. i feel human again and its so lovely to get back home and get a big smile off ds

ellasmum1 · 03/03/2008 10:20

And I am pregnant again too by the way , but dd is 5 now! Its taken me so long because I do dread the lonely boring baby stage!! ( although I did and do love my dd to bits!)
I hated the small talk at mother and toddler groups but still preferred it to sitting in the house alone.
Alot of the women i work with feel the same too!
I think its partly the type of fast moving,convenience led lives we lead now too.
We find it so hard to just cook,clean and nuture our offspring because we expect far more fulfillment from our lives!
I love the cinema too. In the early days I used to go alone in the evening while dh looked after dd. It was bliss!!

lionbeast · 03/03/2008 10:46

oh wow congratulations mrsmouse im so pleased for you xxxx,have you thought about what delivery you'd like to try for? i can understand why you feel nervous, i would too, but im sure you'll be fine. ill be posting on the birth section in a while so maybe ill see you around the boards, but my sincerest congrats to you andyour family and good luck to you, you deserve it xxxx

lionbeast · 03/03/2008 10:47

pussycat i knowwhat you mean about other mummy, sometimes you get a bit fed up of baby talk.

Original poster
FasterPussyCatGrrrl · 03/03/2008 10:48

moodymammy- forgot mam is Northern too.

might ask a friend if she'd come over for a couple of hours when kids are in bed so we can go to the cinema. DS1 unlikely to wake, and if DS2 does, she'd only have him to look after.

going to get my hair chopped off soon too- need a big change. and hair that Ds2 can't hang from for a bit.

DH is great- he does his fair share when he's home, but it's constant for me.

i earned slightly more than him when i was full time, sometimes i wonder if i should go back full time and he could stay home for a while, but i don't think i could handle full time hours away from kids.

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