Newborn won’t sleep, won’t stop eating

[StormsParent]

Hello,

I never post anything on forums or even online. I don’t even have social media as I have ASD and find a lot of what is targeted towards me is upsetting. But I’m at a loss and my sister in law recommended this so here goes.

My baby is 2.5 weeks old and have been cluster feeding constantly. Nothing I have read online even comes close to how much she is feeding- sometimes up to 3 hours in a single feed and constantly with only small breaks inbetween. She does not sleep at night at all so my partner and I have been trying to decide whether it’s better to split the night or take turns doing all-nighters so at least one of us is rested.

during the day her longest sleep is a couple of the hours on the afternoon. There are a few more odd breaks for sleep but it can’t be more than 6 or 7 hours for the whole 24 hour day!

she often feeds until she’s sick and then feeds again and is constantly rooting. We have had professional support from
midwifes to breastfeeding support but often it’s a lot of chiches: “cluster feeding is is common in the first few days, at 10 days, between week 2 and 3” constant shifting goal posts! And there is no gap inbetween where she’s not breastfeeding!

we’re both at a loss and mental health is deteriorating

Yes very normal but exhausting for you. Noone really tells you about it and the intensity of it is overwhelming. Try and remember it won't go on forever. Eat drink relax and get comfy and just try and go with it. Sleep any time you can. It will calm down soon. You are doing a great job but it's so hard.

Not a solution for you but totally normal if my two are anything to go by. I remember evening cluster feeds going from 4pm-10pm just constantly feeding feeding feeding. It does get less intense, they're brand new and getting used to the world. For you it's exhausting and relentless.

With my first I'd swap in and out with my partner a bit with some expressed milk. With my second I accepted it wouldn't last forever and rode it out, which was a lot less stressful.

Good luck and congratulations on your newborn.

Oh gosh this just brought back the memories I had already forgotten of spending hours feeding and feeding my baby. It was really hard but it did stop at some point (cannot remember when though as I was so sleep starved for the first 8 months.

Cluster feeding is so hard. Does baby have plenty of wet/dirty nappies? Does she seem satisfied after a feed (when she eventually unlatches?) ie does she seem alert/awake and settled in short spells? Is she gaining weight?

My Dc used to cluster feed for about 5 hours every evening. It was a comfort thing. Completely normal but agree with pps check on dirty nappies and weight gain etc etc

This is why God created remote controls and packets of biscuits.

I'm going to go slightly against previous posters and say this sounds unusually intense. That doesn't mean anything is wrong, it may just be her, but I'm not surprised you're finding it very tough. It also sounds like she still has day and night reversed, which is also very tough!

If she's gaining weight well and feeding until she's sick, you could possibly try introducing a dummy. Some babies just really, really like to suck, and a dummy can meet some of that sucking need, although you have to be a bit careful that she's still nursing enough to get all she needs and protect your milk supply.

Does she have signs of reflux or silent reflux? Sometimes reflux babies nurse to sooth the acid burn, but you don't mention her being really unsettled and crying a lot, so I'm not sure reflux is likely.

To help her sort out day and night, if the usual 'keep it bright and interactive during the day, and quiet, dark, minimum stimulation during the night' hasn't worked by this point, you might have to really encourage her to stay awake that little bit longer each time she's awake in the day, and even wake her from any big day sleeps. It sounds like she might need a bit more active help getting her circadian rhythms the right way round.

Completely normal. Baby is promoting your supply. It isn’t like this forever, you will see a big change by 6 weeks. Just keep at it.

Good advice but just to add that circadian rhythm cant really kick in before 8/9 weeks so I would only do this if the routine works for you, rather than trying to get baby into a routine this early on.

Can you BF on your side in bed with safe co-sleeping rules? That way you can drift off, even if the baby is feeding for long stretches. I developed the ability to barely wake up to feed.

Utterly exhausting but very normal. I had a friend whose baby fed 45 minutes in every hour overnight for a week

Is your baby gaining weight?

DD once managed 11hrs feeding overnight - that was possibly the hardest night of my entire night and I went a little bit mad.

I may have muttered unspeakable things to her at the time.

I survived by feeding lying down (safe space). Do not risk a sofa. In my haze I fell asleep sat up with her and dropped her off the sofa. I then spent many hours absolutely hysterical that I had harmed her (it was a few inches on to thick carpet) but by that time I was unhinged.

I can laugh about it now and we BF to 26 months but those weeks were hard.

Thanks everyone for your advice.

Storm is putting on weight. And she is having plenty of wet and dirty nappies. We are tracking all her feeds and sleep on Baby tracker now.

She didn’t sleep much at all last night. My Fitbit hadn’t recorded any sleep as she wouldn’t sleep longer than an hour and therefore we didn’t. But I did grab biscuits and the remote for my partner and I. Weirdly accepting that weren’t really going to be able to sleep last night helped.

we are taking it day by day on whether we take it in turns during the night or taking full nights. We haven’t found a system that works yet as how Storm is changed every day.

hopefully we find out something that works.

We have tried safe co-sleeping and got some advice from the midwife. Sometimes it does work but not always.

Just to add to advice that this is normal - if baby's eyes are closed then they are asleep. Even if they are feeding. Clever little multitaskers!

For us it was hardest with cluster feeding at 3 weeks, 6 weeks and 12 weeks, then it stopped. It's so very, very tough and I can only recommend snacks, tea and boxsets.

Very normal but very very hard
My DD record was a 16hr clusterfeed at 3 weeks. I thought I'd never make it.
But I did and am still breastfeeding at 21 months.

Sending solidarity, just do what you have to to get through x

I promise it passes - my newborn fed constantly and it was absolutely cluster feeding. I felt like I was losing my mind but it quickly passed. Hang in there

It was terrible, most of us remember it (and it's 30 years since I had my last baby but I do remember!) but what worked best for me second time around was not fighting it but accepting it was going to be this way and not forever (keeping the image of a small child going off to school helped!)

In those early weeks MOST babies only want to sleep ON someone, because they are very new and they need to feel safe and secure with a human parent right there where they can feel them, and that's just the way it is, so maximise YOUR opportunities for sleep any way you can.

There are so many posts on this - 'baby won't sleep anywhere but on me' - it's obvious that most of us who bought Moses baskets, fancy newborn cots etc, fell victim to a scam ;)

Sounds like it would be worth trying a dummy. Some babies are very sucky!

Completely normal, but nobody warns you about it do they! She’s building your supply and it will pass. I got through a substantial chunk of Gray’s Anatomy with my first because she nursed for the exact length of an episode, then was unlatched for what she considered a rather grueling 15-30m, and back on for another 45. Seemed ENDLESS at the time. It’s easier with subsequent babies because you can look back and know that it really doesn’t last long.

Storm only woke up twice last night!!!!! First good night sleep in 3 weeks! I know one time is not a trend but I’m optimistic that we might be out of the worst of it (for now)

thank you everyone for your advice and support.

We have been trying a dummy recently and it does appear to have helped at times :)

Sorry it this is a stupid question - but what happens if you just stop feeding her after say, 30 mins on each breast?

I'm only asking because I didn't get to BF my first when I had no other kids around so I don't know what that would have been like, but I'm currently BFing Dc2 with a crazy toddler in tow and I know the baby would like to feed for hours on end of she could but I just don't have time! So I tend to whip her off at around 45mins if we've made it that long.

She will cry but she does settle eventually or I'll put her in the carrier to sleep.

I hope that doesn't sound barbaric but it's just actually impossible to let her cluster feed. My toddler would be mortally wounded multiple times a day otherwise!

I just feed her as close to every 2.5-3 hours as possible.

She's 5 weeks old now but I've been having to do it like this the whole time.

Hi there, my little one is 3 days old and is also a cluster feeder. Never stops!! I was going to add a comment to say when I think she should be full, I’ll give her a dummy so her brain and catch up with her stomach! If she happily sucks on the dummy I know she perhaps just likes the comfort. But if she spits it out, sticks out her tongue (I’m sure you know all this) then she must still be hungry. 🤤

I also try and make sure between a few gulps of milk I give her a good burping. Again, it gives a little interlude to see if she really needs to eat.

I was in a real panic at the hospital because she was eating and eating and then being sick. I just take the feeds a lot slower now. I’m sorry if I’m repeating what perhaps has already been said or you’ve tried these suggestions. I do understand though, she definitely would rather eat than sleep! Sending you hugs. X