Stealing chocolate

[Aliceinwonder1]

Hi. I am unsure what to do with my nearly 7 year old who keeps taking chocolate and treats we have in the house.
It's happened several times now that we've caught through finding wrappers or noticing things have gone missing. She has admitted it. The first few times we tried to be softer and explain why we don't do that etc and then we went harder but it's happened again today with chocolate bars we only bought last night!

We've moved all the treats but need to have some in the house as it's for her older siblings and we don't want to restrict them completely from her either as know that can lead onto other issues. But we're at a loss. She says she doesn't know why she takes them but they taste nice. I guess it's just a case of wanting more maybe as we do give treats (sometimes too many I've felt in the past to be honest)! So it's not like they don't get them. Her older siblings don't do it nor have ever, but she has done it before at a very young age and now I wonder if she always has but we didn't notice!

Unfortunately it's affecting her weight and we have really seen that she is bigger than her peers and in truth bigger then is healthy for her. At first we couldn't understand why and adjusted our portion sizes as in truth we probably all have too big a portion for dinner but actually overall we eat balanced, healthy dinners!

I'm really unsure what to do and tonight feel so disappointed that she's done it again but unsure what to put in place, talking doesn't do anything and punishments I really am not sure will work but we can't just let her keep taking things every time we forget to put it high enough she can't get to it!

Any advice would be welcome, I obviously will be trying to get her to do more exercise and keep an eye on her food to help her lose the weight without her being aware of it as obviously I don't want her to have body issues...but genuinely it is affecting her weight quite a bit!

Are you the same poster that got upset that your sister gave DD a fruit salad when she's on a calorie controlled diet due to being 3 stone overweight through stashing chocolate?

One of my dc did this at a similar age and took money to buy treats from local shops. Grew a bit tubby over one summer holiday as a result. I didn't restrict portion sizes though
They outgrew it and now wouldn't take someone else's treats without asking. They were always active though

I would want to consider the possibility this is emotional eating and she's struggling with something. My DD does this and has since a similar age. It proceeded a diagnosis of anxiety followed by some very serious mental health problems. She's only a little kid and your anger is misplaced here. Has it hit a bit close to the bone maybe? She's struggling with something here, impulse control, wanting to feel in control of something, the start of mental health issues, emotional eating. Maybe she needs help with regulation or to be taught other ways of dealing with her emotions. Treating the underlying cause is just as important as addressing her access to snacks.

Our school doesn't allow chocolate bars for school packed lunch

Maybe think of a diff bar for them to take ?

Agree they shouldn't have to go with out just as your 6yr can't control so a lock box may work

If anything my DD is underweight, and she's active playing 2 team sports, so thats not an issue, but the disordered eating still is. Her brother is Autistic and doesn't feel full, so I'm walking the edge of trying to encourage him to eat less while not adding any food or weight issues to what he's already dealing with. He runs every day, plays 3 sports a week, he's active but still over weigh. His psychologist is aware of the issue, but feels there are more pressing things right now and it's very hard to address these issues without creating bigger long term ones. I'm encouraging him to stop when he no longer feels hungry, rather then when he feels full because he never feels full. Your DD might simply need some help with impulse control or emotional regulation, or it might be something more than that.

I would leave a lock box for an absolute last result because it doesn’t actually solve the issue does it.

Have you looked at the other areas of her diet to make sure she isn’t eating other food that causes her to have sugar spikes and crashes and crave sugar? Might be worth doing that and adapting your meals a little.

Does she have access to a “treat” box with healthier options - eg chocolate covered rice cakes feel satisfying for me but are less sugar and more filling, Greek yoghurt and strawberries. Just snacks that feel nice but aren’t as sugary as a mars bar. Maybe fine some options of foods she can have open access to.

I wonder if speaking to a nutritionist might be helpful, so you can adapt you diet to make sure it’s not causes sugar cravings. Then, like others have suggested, consider if it is emotionally eating- eating so she gets a feel good hit. If it is that maybe help find other things that she can do for a feel good boost.