Night wakings in 8 year old

[teaforall]

Does anyone have an 8 year old waking at 1am or 2am and either having a bad dream or waking and not being able to settle themselves again? Does it get better after a few days back at school?

It's an ongoing thing and it's normally when he returns to school after the holidays i.e change of routine.

DH and I sleep in the room below him (he's on the first floor) and he shares with his brother (7) so it's a lot of up and down the stairs.

He is always so frustrated and upset. He's now said he is worried about going to sleep. DH and I cannot get back to sleep ourselves so we are zombies at work plus DH is falling asleep at his desk at school. We've tried:

No screens, bath and light supper
Taking him back to own room, quick cuddle and retreat.
Having him in with us (but this leads to more asking to sleep with us)
Pillow spray
Special cuddly toy
Star nightlight
Bed as comfy as poss

I've always been a light sleeper and I think I've passed it onto him.

He seems to be stuck in the cycle. How can I help him break it? Just a hand hold really as I'm hoping he'll settle in soon but I'm so tired.

Is he falling asleep at bedtime with something that isn't there when he wakes in the night? Eg music or you or dh sitting with him etc?

Having him in with us (but this leads to more asking to sleep with us)

Given the extreme tiredness this seems like the easiest fix.

Put his mattress pillow and duvet on the floor in your room. If he sleeps better over the next week or so, it could almost "re set him" and take away that fear and anxiety that he clearly has.

Then in time you look at how to adjust from that to get him slowly back into his own room.

Is he falling asleep at bedtime with something that isn't there when he wakes in the night? Eg music or you or dh sitting with him etc?

Yes. They read for a bit then say they wanna go to sleep and DH and I often still give them a little song (!) and a cuddle with lights out at 8 (as they sometimes chat). DH sang to him quietly when he woke at 2am last night. Then once DS was asleep again, DH couldn't sleep for 3 hours 😩

They are our only kids. What do other 8 year old's bedtimes look like?

Mine get sent to do their pjs and teeth about 7.30, then about 7.45 we go up and tuck them in. If they want us to read them a chapter of their book we will (both need to listen to same one I'm not doing two bedtime stories in two rooms), but if they don't want to they can keep their lamps on and resd to themselves til they feel sleepy. We leave as soon as either the chapter is done or they say no thanks.

If they come downstairs in the night to us (we are also a floor below) and it's something that needs fixing (eg they spilled their water bottle on the sheets or they have a nosebleed) we get up and see to it. If it's anything else we say "ah I'm sorry to hear that, would you like me to come tuck you in?" And if they do, we go up tuck them in and leave.

Any "I can't sleep" comments are met with "that's fine, just read til you feel sleepy".

From my diary, I can see this has happened every year in Sept for the last 3 years. A change of teacher is a big change so I'm hoping he'll settle over the next week or so.

My almost 8 year old DD can be like this too. It's hard, but we just remind herself it will settle and it always does. It's helped her to have a nightlight and she has an alexa in her bedroom which she can set herself to play soothing music for half an hour/however long she wants.

Remind ourselves that should say!