Going back to work full time, will I loose the bond with my baby?

[Lou234]

Hi everyone,

I'm having a meltdown basically. Maternity leave is coming to an end and I will be going back to work full time. Will my baby start to prefer other people over me? I feel like she will see nursery staff/grandparents more than me 😭 she will be 6 months when I go back because we can't afford any longer! I keep crying thinking about it 😢 she will be in nursery 3 days and with grandparents 2.

Thank you!

I could give you a long answer but the short one is: of course not! I promise you.

No not at all she will still love u no matter what x x

Absolutely not, your bond will be as strong as ever and will adapt as she grows up and your relationship changes.

Best of luck on your return. You are doing what’s best for your family, like so many mothers before you and many more to come

I went back to work when my DD was 4 months old (that is standard where I live in France as that is when maternity leave ends). I was a bit wobbly at first, but she is now 3, loves her childminder who she sees every weekday for 9 hours a day but also has the best bond with me and DH. She has never been in any doubt as to who her parents are.

If it's at all helpful, it is incredibly common here and France is not full of babies who don't have an amazing bond with their parents.

Now she is starting school this week ( also compulsory from 3 onwards) and is a confident little girl who was quite happy starting a new environment with no tears.

It'll all be OK ,you won't lose the bond. The bond with your baby is not a fragile thing.

No, you won't lose your bond. I still have a strong bond with mine and she's 43.

Can you use annual leave and work 3 or 4 days a week to start with? It will be easier than going back 5 days.

Thank you everyone!! I know im silly and life has to go on! I really appreciate the reassurance thank you 💖

You’ll be fine because it will be consistent and you will have her evenings and weekends when you can focus on her.

I had this exact set up - 2 days granny and 3 nursery from 4 months onward.

My bond with mine remained so close. I thinks it's a lovely balance of child care too.

It's not silly at all. It's entirely normal - your baby is so precious and of course you'll have a wobble. But hopefully you've been reassured it will be OK. It will feel very strange at first, but you'll find that it takes you longer to adjust than your baby!! I also personally found that work gave me a balance which meant when I have DD I am 100% focused on her and able to give her the best of me.

Good luck with your return to work and congratulations on your baby. It's an amazing journey.

It's a really tough transition- I remember being very angry when I had to go back to work (with both babies).

But you will be fine I promise.

I had a fabulous child minder who both my Dc grew to love very much and that was wonderful for all of us. It didn't diminish how they felt about me at all.

No. Mum to 3 kids and worked full time with them all. We all have a beautiful bond. I promise.

It used to be very normal to go back to work at 6 months, I did 3x. I often wonder if its harder after a year for the baby and mum. You'll take time to adjust but it'll be OK.

No. You'll be fine!

No.

DD went to nursey full time at six months old and I went back to work full time, she’s 4 now, fiesty, I’m very much her favourite person… have been since I can remember. To be fair I’d say it made our bond stronger

So mine went to nursery for 15hrs since she was 14 months old. I work full time- childcare is between daddy, MIL and nursery. She has a good bond with me- but loves MIL- mainly cos she plans and does fun activities with her everyweek- is teaching her phonics and how to read- but she also loves me- I am the one she wants most of the time- I breastfed and our bond is amazing.... we also have regular mummy daughter dates (normally going out for pizza or icecream or to the park about once a month)

It sounds like she's going to have great, consistent care and that's what is important. My eldest had 3 days a week with my parents when I went back to work and now at 18 years old she has such a loving bond with them. Your feelings are completely natural but you'll always be number 1 in your daughters eyes x

No, of course not! Just keep work at work and at home it’s babytime!

You won't lose the bond but do tell the nursery and grandparents if you don't want to be told when she does all of her firsts so you can experience them as first with you. The reality is you'll no longer be her whole world but that doesn't mean you won't still have a special bond and it's fantastic for building a bond with her grandparents. We can't be their everything for ever.

I went back to work 3 months ago when my little one was 6 months and had exactly the same fears but it's not effected our bond at all, he knows who his mum is!

I did this with my dd. Same age. We have a very close bond and a lovely relationship, she is almost 5. I gave her all my time at the weekends and caregiving etc.
My son is 8 months and is at nursery now full time. I feel guilty but I also know it will be ok.

No.

Ah such nice reassuring replies here! I went back 4 days with my first, our bond stayed just as strong. I'm on mat leave at the moment with my second and plan to go back 5 days when she is 10 months, so I've been worrying bit too. Nice to read these responses. Good luck! Xx