What do you do? Other kids undesirable behaviours.

[FTMFML]

My LO is a year and a half and does enjoy the company of others at soft play/swing parks etc. I’m always very close by although not helicopter parenting by any means.

There have been a few occasions where delightful older children 3-10 have been horrid to her, pushing, taking her toys, not allowing her in certain areas and “supervising” parents have been non-existant. She deals very well and generally ignores them, however my blood boils.

I do try to be confident, polite and educate the offending child on their wrong behaviour, should that not work I look around for parents to speak with.

What do others do in these situations? What is the done thing? …. I would love to strangle the parents/kids but realise this is not a great tactic.

I say firmly "don't do that"
"Give the toy back"
"Watch out for the little one"

I've been at parks where older kids have been swearing in ear shot of my three yr old. I let the first one or two go but if it continues I just shout "watch the language" etc and they apologise!

One kid a softplay wouldn't leave my son alone and was just following him everywhere so I just said "he doesn't want to play, stop following".
Other terms like "that's not kind" or "remember to take turns"

Stuff like that. I probably am a helicopter parent but if that's the term for actual parenting then so be it :)

I’ve been there! It’s horrid to see your kid get pushed about. So, I think if the other child is about 3 or under, or if you suspect they might have some behavioural differences, then leave it unless it’s quite violent. I remember seeing a boy (c.3) push my 1.5 y/o and it was horrible. Fast forward 18 months and I was the mum apologising to the mum of a younger kid.

my 4 y/o was recently mocked and chastised by a 7 y/o and her brother (c5 or 6) for being slow and scared on the zip line. I actually took her aside and told her she should be nice to younger children. It’s not in my nature to do that but I was fuming.

Just keep on doing what you're doing - that's fine.

It's a fact of life that littler kids have to learn how to deal with bigger kids, and it doesn't do them any favours getting involved further, unless anyone is hurt or at risk.

I do hear you but at 18 months you should be close by! Your lo is tiny!

Sorry, you said you are very close by, my mistake.

You said not helicopter parenting tho. I think at 18 months your lo needs to to be supervising and intervening though.

I do get you however, it makes my blood boil when kids don't act fair.

My last post made no sense.

I'm going to bed now, its been a long day!

If they’re 18monrhs they’re a baby and need you literally there all the time. It’s perfectly fine to direct other children and model and remind them of rules like being kind and taking turns. But remember even a “big” 3 year old is only a young child too and they’re not “being horrid” they’re most likely being kids just like yours will be in a few years.

I have perfected my teacher voice (not a teacher) and I will say “can you remember to be kind as she is only little- can you show her how to take turns as she is just learning”. “Would you like to gently go past her as she isn’t as fast as you on this bit and you seem to be finding it tricky to wait” (rather than “stop pushing past you little shit!”) etc

Bit if they’re pushing or hurting I will say very firmly “No! Stop pushing right now! That is NOT kind” And quite loudly too… I have also been known to put my hand up if a child is coming at mine… not pushing them but preventing them from physically touching mine…

But it’s worth remembering these little kids are just learning too and often haven’t been told how to behave nicely… so be kind too.