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Parenting

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Original poster

Name change

18 replies

AdviceappreciatedTIA · 04/09/2023 21:13

Just after some advice/thoughts….. our second son is 3.5 years old and we’re just not happy with the name choice we chose for him. It’s not that it’s a qwerky/trendy/stupid name, it’s just not sitting right. We’ve tried really hard to bond with the name but we just can’t 😞 just wondering if anyone has changed their child’s name when they’re 3 and how that went? Is it something we could consider or not?

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Marblessolveeverything · 04/09/2023 21:18

You can't change a child of that age name. I would advise you work out what is causing your issue

It would be very unfair to him, he knows his name.

Comedycook · 04/09/2023 21:19

I think you've left it too late. Does his name lend itself to any good nicknames that you could use?

YourNameGoesHere · 04/09/2023 21:20

Honestly it's not your decision any more he's far too old for you to take away his name. If he wishes to change it when he's older that's his choice but his name is his and you need to accept it's not yours to change.

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YouHoooo · 04/09/2023 21:21

Way too late. My 3 year old knows exactly who she is and would be really confused and upset if she was told she had a different name. Her friends would keep calling her the old one too.

cruffinsmuffin · 04/09/2023 21:22

Please don't - it's a lifetime of hassle for him (trust me, my mum did it to me at that age!).

Also he's his own little person at that age, I think changing his name that late is unfair to him as PP have said.

GoodVibesHere · 04/09/2023 21:33

Goodness, even if he were a cat or a dog I'd think twice about changing their name. A child of that age, no way! It's his identity now, you can't muck about changing his name when he's fully aware of who he is, it would be distressing for him.

staybyyou · 04/09/2023 21:35

What's the name, and what do you want to change it to?

Original poster

AdviceappreciatedTIA · 04/09/2023 21:42

Thanks for all the comments so far, please don’t think we’re taking this thought/decision lightly. We’re both completely stressed out about it and feel in turmoil for considering it but don’t see another way out to get our family back on track 😞

OP posts:

YourNameGoesHere · 04/09/2023 21:44

AdviceappreciatedTIA · 04/09/2023 21:42

Why is your family not on track? It's not a decision you can take at all and to be honest it sounds like you're blaming the name for some much bigger issues in your family.

mynameiscalypso · 04/09/2023 21:47

I don't think it's really your decision to make. It's his name. And changing a name isn't going to fix whatever is going on in your family.

weetee0102 · 04/09/2023 21:49

Is it not a bit much to say you have to change your sons name to get your family back on track? Thats a really extreme statement. I'm sorry I don't mean to belittle your concerns but your son is his own person now it's his name, you must have liked it at one point, imagine someone just telling you that you're going to be called something else because they don't like your name. Please reconsider this, I'd imagine it might cause him all sorts of hassle both practically and mentally. Could you shorten it or give him a nickname or variation of this name that you could call him and at least he still keeps his identity. At the end of the day it's just a name, a rose by any other name and all that, move on.

Skullcollector · 04/09/2023 21:56

This is a strange one to answer with such little context. Does he have a name that is reminding you of something negative? For example, he shares his name with a serial killer? Or is it that there is nothing wrong with it, you just dislike it now? Can you try to remember why you chose it in the first place? That may help you reconnect with it.
If he has a fairly innocuous popular and/or “normal” name (for example, Stephen, James, William, Mohammed etc) then there will be plenty of nickname options for him Steve, Stevie, Jim, Jimmy, Billy, Will, Mo, Hammad… the list goes on. Just find a nickname that you like and slowly start calling him that. Or, does he have a middle name that you could start using? Please be very careful to transition slowly so as not to confuse him

villamariavintrapp · 04/09/2023 22:06

How does he feel about his name? If he's fine with it you'll have to leave it, he's far too old to have to change his name because you've changed your minds.

pythongreenporsche · 04/09/2023 22:08

AdviceappreciatedTIA · 04/09/2023 21:42

It's impossible to be sure without knowing the reason for your turmoil but honestly, if a name is giving you such anxiety I'd say you're lucky it's your biggest worry 🤷‍♀️

purplebluediscorain · 04/09/2023 22:10

This has got to be a wind up, imagine naming your child 3.5 years ago and now deciding to say it’s ruining your family and your life and stressing you out.

that is your child your child’s name and his indentity. You can’t just go round changing names so easily. It also would stick with him for life anyway and be carried around with him for all the paperwork he would fill out im
shre.

MargotBamborough · 04/09/2023 22:23

I don't think anyone can really answer your question properly without understanding the context and why this is causing you so much difficulty.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/09/2023 22:25

This doesn’t seem like a name issue.
do you have issues bonding with your son?

is there a middle name you could use? he’s way too old to do this to him imo

nappiesandcontracts · 04/09/2023 22:50

If he's 3.5 he must have been born early 2020 so your maternity leave was mostly spent in lockdown? My DC2 was a 2020 baby and it was really tough. I had a lot of name regret for the first 6 months or so which I think was just a channel for how low I was feeling generally. Do you think it could be similar for you? Totally get how you feel and sending supportive vibes whatever you decide 💐

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