To have another baby or not?

[KPJLNPJ]

Hi, I just wanted to see if anyone has ever been in this situation or has any advice.
I have a 10 year son with my ex husband. He left me before we got around to having more children, but all I ever wanted was another.
Fast forward and I'm now with a lovely man, we've been together over 4 years and he is a brilliant step dad to my son. I had accepted that I wouldn't have any more children until the last year or so where I keep wondering if I should do it. I'd love to give my boy a sibling and part of me craves another, but I'm selfishly worried that I'll be giving up my nice life with my bf and how it might change our relationship (we have every other weekend on our own to do what we want and we are literally living our best lives). My bf will happily have a baby, but there is no pressure from him- I think he feels a bit torn like me. I don't have time on my hands to think about it too much as I'm approaching 40.
Any thoughts welcome!

Hey! It's a huge decision as you definitely know! I think if you both want a child, go for it. Don't worry about your age, 40 is still fine! It will definitely change things but you'll get through and again, especially if you both really want this. The first few years are intense but time goes quick and once the baby starts school I feel you'll be heading back to your 'independent' lives again in a way. Ultimately only you and your partner know what's the best for you guys. Hope it all goes well!

It takes a lot more than just love to raise a baby and maintain a relationship. Do you live together? It's really, really easy for a man who's never had a child say they'd be "happy" to have a baby. They can walk away if it cramps their style too much.

@Japaneseflower thank you, my friend said pretty much the same things to me yesterday!

@Aquamarine1029 yes we live together, he has helped me raise my son for the past 3 years. If there's one thing I'm not worried about, it's him leaving (and that takes a lot for me to say that, I've been there). He definitely doesn't say he's happy to have a baby lightly, I know he wants one, he just wouldn't pressure me into a decision because he knows it's huge

I wanted a third child for years, but my husband was against it. It really affected our relationship - how do you just get rid of that urge? Eventually he came around, and we've just had another, with a 5.5 year age gap between her and DC2, at the age of 41. She's perfect and we couldn't be happier - including my husband! The age gap between her and my eldest two is great, because they are old enough to look after themselves most of the time so I can really concentrate on DC3 and soak up every minute of her first days.

It will massively change your lives to have another (as you know) but as others have said you will get back to that eventually. But you will also have another little person in your family to love and to love you back, which to me is priceless.