Single FTM 4 weeks postpartum. Suffering with PPD

[LD233]

So basically I had a awful pregnancy caused by my ex who left me at 16 weeks pregnant for his ex girlfriend and got her pregnant and now is playing happy families with her whilst lying about it on and off for months. I have suffered severe emotional distress due to this and heartache and now postpartum I feel like I'm mentally drowning. I also received no support from him whilst pregnant what so ever. Now he comes over and sees our son throughout the week a couple of times and I am trying so hard to be civil for our son but I am struggling immensely emotionally and mentally thinking how much he betrayed me and abandoned me when I needed him the most. I've also been antagonised and had it completely rubbed in my face throughout by his girlfriend to the point where I didn't want to be here anymore. Now I think im experiencing PPD. I can't function properly and am calling a doctor ASAP tomorrow morning as I keep breaking down. Has anyone else experienced being hurt and trying to coparent and how to navigate this and get through it. I have so much hate and resentment towards my ex for doing this to me and rverutime he comes and leaves I have a breakdown. I don't know how to face him anymore. The past few momths he told me he finished with his ex but yesterday I yet again found out they had been together and he had been gaslighting me making me feel crazy.

I'm just looking for tips on how to coparent , I never planned on being a single parent and I loved my ex alot. However since I became pregnant he shown his true colours and has completely broken me as a person. I an trying so hard to be strong for my son but I honestly feel like I'm drowning - my family are concerned which is why im seeking help tomorrow.

Can you go and stay with your family for a full week? Tell your ex you’re going and the next visit will be x date in a week’s time. Go and be with the people who care about you and your well-being and let them look after you and show you how much they love you and your baby.

If it’s not an option to go to them, can someone come to you for a few days? You mum maybe?

Your ex is treating you appallingly. It’s not surprising you’re having difficulty coming to terms with his actions.

You don’t need to have any contact with his girlfriend whatsoever. If your ex (or anyone else for that matter) brings her up, tell him you’re not interested in hearing about her or her opinions. Block her if she’s messaging you directly.

Hey. I have asked my mom to come and stay with me yes for a short while. She works alot however just someone here to support me would help right now. Yes it's so tough after everything he's put me through I can't face him at the moment. So trying to come up with other solutions so I can have some time to heal.and not see him.

It might help having someone else there when he visits the baby. It also gives you the option of choosing to go and shower or have a nap or pop out for walk instead of feeling like you have to make conversation with your ex.

You being present while your ex has contact time with your child is a temporary thing. It’s really hard now, but it’s going to be a very different thing in a year’s time, or ten.

Try to keep the conversation with your ex focused on your child, not on your relationship together or on your breakup or new partners. This will get hugely easier as your baby grows and gets more interactive.

When you feel comfortable leaving your child (it’s fine for this to be a while away! 1month is tiny!) then you won’t have to be near your ex longer than it takes to do the handovers.

It’s also fine if you are already comfortable leaving your baby with your ex for half an hour or an hour or whatever to just tell him to take him for a walk in the park and be back at x time. That way you don’t have to talk to him much. - I didn’t mean to imply that anything is wrong if you’d rather start doing that now or very soon.