Daughter, mean or could it be asd

[Isitseptember]

My 8yo dd is mean to her friend. I've listened as they play and it made me feel uncomfortable. I did have to tell her numerous times throughout the hour.
It's not mean words, just constant disagreeing or saying no or the opposite to everything her friend said. In the end I could see her friend became fed up.
I spoke to my dad later in the day.
It is always the same so not a one off. And they do say they are best friends and my daughter says she wants to play with this child.
I have also never spoke to my child in such a negative way nor is she like this with me. Also I've not heared her like this with other children. She can be moody with her dad in a similar way.
She can also be shy around others.

*I spoke to my dd not dad later that day to explain her poor behaviour

What other signs does she have.

Just this isn't enough info to go on.

Unless you have some other reason to think ASD, it doesn’t sound like it.

she may simply lack people skills rather than be deliberately mean.

Do some reading around it and work on it with her. I think you can say quite honestly you overheard them and think she needs to do some work on this to keep friendships.

It’s important to tackle because friendships are increasingly important at this age.

On it's own, not ASD. She lacks certain social skills. This is perfectly normal - they have to be learnt.
Talk to her, model better communication and maybe role play with her to explore others way to be with her friends.
I'd be gently honest and say that her friends will tire of being spoken to like this.

@Beamur I will do that,

I have done all the other things and it's been this way nearly all year.
She has suffered anxiety in past, especially going to school & comes across as rude at times.
There are siblings with asd but don't have these problems and are v kind & friendly to others. It's really bothering me.

If you have other children with ASD you may be better placed to notice if your DD is ND.
To a large extent we cannot mould our children into different people - they have their own personalities.
She is only 8 and may well change as she matures - she might not! My DD is only really getting the hang of being consistently sociable now and she's in her teens.
Your DD may have to learn some of these lessons in life by doing and not always getting it right.
Keep supporting her but don't take it so personally when she's not so nice.