Co-sleepers - what do you do with your toddler before YOU go to bed

[oldnewmummy]

Our son is 13.5 months. He goes to bed at 7.30 (in cot) and is shattered by that point. He's then waking about 10pm and won't settle back down so we end up taking him to bed when we go about 11.30pm.

He's sleeping very well with us, and it's nice for us too, but he's now started to have problems settling BEFORE he comes into our bed. Don't want to go to bed at 8pm ourselves, but don't want to keep him up till 11.30pm.

What do others do?

(Gotta go, 9.30pm and he's woken again.....)

my boy decided to co-sleep when he was about 24months, though I had him in bed with me before then if he woke in the night. Now he won't go to bed until I do so feel utterly buggered on the time in the evening for myself front... he's now 2.5

Sorry absolutely no advice for you, just wanted air whats happened to me in case you wanted to 'nip' co-sleeping in the bud for your own sanity!!!

i go to bed with him til he sleeps then bolster him up and go back downstairs for my glass of wine i await the flame lol he is now 2.6 and have been doin this for ever [obviously not having the wine every night!]and he is absolutely fine with that and us!!!!

you will laugh at this. Ds will go to sleep in his own bed( i have to sit there until he is asleep) and when he wakes up he will settle again then when i go to bed he will only settle if he is with me!

I put dd2 (17 months) down in the pram after she falls asleep on my shoulder. I then either just pick her up still asleep from the pram and transfer to our bed or if she wakes let her play around until I go to bed. I did the same with dd1 who's now 5 and in her own bed thankfully.

I would suggest that you have a think about where you want to go with this - if you don't mind being with your ds while he falls asleep every night, then that's fine to work out whatever way of getting him to sleep in the early evening you can.
But bear this in mind - my toddler (24mo) falls asleep most nights very happily on his own in his own bed. He usually chatters to himself and his toy rabbit then drifts off. He sleeps through the entire night, and shouts for us when he's ready to get up. To me, that's the perfect scenario.
My dd (5mo) falls asleep on her own in her cot too - usually without a sound. She wakes 2-3 times a night, and settles back to sleep on her own easily without a problem about 75% of the time. When she's unsettled, I bring her into our bed (which I love, tbh). But I want to get her to be as good a sleeper as her brother, so will wean her off the cosleeping before she turns 1.
What I'm saying is, if you would like your evenings to yourself, you might want to think about teaching your ds to fall asleep on his own - either in your bed, or in his own bed.

We put ds 17 months to sleep in the buggy (lies flat). If he wakes, we wheel the buggy (in the kitchen) until he goes back down again. When I am ready to go to bed (10:30-ish), I carry him up to bed and we co-sleep the rest of the night.

Having said that, my ds is a terrible sleeper and so was dd - they take after their father. Dd 4.7 still does not fall asleep in her own bed. On my lap on the sofa in the living room. I carry her up to bed. I have found that this is what works best with least stress.

You see, that horrifies me, Blueshoes!! Totally do what's good with you, but I like to go out in the evening from time to time - and will do more when I'm no longer breastfeeding dd - in fact, I'm planning a trip to a lovely spa next year for my aunt's birthday, which will include an overnight stay. Knowing my LOs will settle happily for their daddy makes that much more doable...
Not judging your methods - just saying that evenings are for me and other grown ups in my world!

Our dd (18m) has been cosleeping pretty much since birth. She has never really slept in her cot. We take her upstairs at 7pm and put her in the middle of the bed (king size and quite low) and lie with her until she falls asleep. Normally takes a couple of mins. On one side of the bed there is a toddler barrier but this is more for when we are all in the bed as she sleeps on edge next to me. She has not rolled out of the bed since she was tiny. She instinctively knows where the edge of the bed is (like adults do). She sleeps there happily until we come up to bed and then we position her where we want her to be on the bed.

She sleeps much better since I stopped breast feeding 2 months ago (was waking for a feed a couple of times a night) and now sleeps soundly except for the normal moving and readjustments in sleep position. She used to wake up sometimes during the evening and just want us to be with her until she resettled. Now she tends to sleep through.

I have thought about trying to get her to settle herself initially and not need us there but I am happy with how things are and don't grudge her 5/10 mins of cuddle time. Likewise we are toying with moving her into a toddler bed in her own room but can't summon up much enthusiasm when things are fine at the mo.

I am still bf-ing ds as well. Dh and I do go out in the evenings. If I am out, dh covers. If both dh and I are out at the same time, the aupair covers. The only limitation is there is a 10-ish pm bewitching hour where I have to be home to transfer ds to bed, otherwise whoever is covering cannot got to bed.

Dd 4.7 is fine now and has been since, can't remember, 3? She has stayed overnight at her grandma's house before, no problems and is now pestering me for sleepovers at her friends'.

It is only a short time really. I don't think dh or I am some weirdo that do not want time for ourselves. Even now, we have adult time from about 8:30 to 10-ish when both dcs are in bed, with one of us having to attend to ds if he wakes, same for any baby that is in its cot and wakes up frequently.

As ds and dd are totally shocking in the sleep department (as my MIL recalls about dh - until he was 3) and this is the best way for us. Not saying it works for everyone, of course. And if your dcs don't have major sleep issues, you have a lot to be thankful for.

Thanks guys (and more advice appreciated to!).

This is a relatively recent thing; he was a really good sleeper early on, but has been unsettled the last few months (since he's realised it's more "fun" to be with us.

Never set out to be a co-sleeper, but he does seem very happy at the moment, and he's sleeping through every night once he's in our bed.

As I said that's not really the problem (although it will be when he's 12!) but it's the early evening bit that is. Apart from the fact that we need a break, I'm worried he won't get enough sleep.

Sorry Blueshoes - I didn't mean to sound arsey - I hate it when people make you feel like you have to justify your parenting decisions, and that's exactly what I did. It sounds as though you have exactly as much evening as we do...
Yes, we were lucky with ds - but I did do the whole controlled crying thing. I hated it, but after a couple of difficult nights it worked. Think dd's going to be more tricky though

i just think everyone does what they feel is best. Ds sleeps in his bed from six until eleven thirty ish. He then comes in with me until am. He is still bf and wakes up in the night sometimes. He settles in his own bed if i sit down next to him. Tbh i love co sleeping. I know this age is gonna last for ever and soon he wont need me as much anymore so i am gonna enjoy it. Well done if your dc go to bed on their own and sleep through the night. But i could never do cc and tbh never wanted to. Each to their own