Regretting having my baby

[Feelinglowjen]

I have a DS who is 4, he was a difficult baby for the first 3 months but settled once he took a bottle and could sit up, his sleeping was ok, he would sleep in his cot but wake once or twice for a dummy or to feed.

DD is 6 months old, initially she was an easy baby, I EBF her she wouldn't take a dummy but she didn't need one so it didn't matter. As time has gone on I've found her harder, she is a lovely smiley baby who is content being played with but she won't go to anyone except me, sometimes my DH if she is fed and happy but he can't comfort her. She is fed to sleep in a rocking chair however I'm finding it takes longer and longer to get her to sleep in her cot. Her eyes pop open once I lay her in and I'm spending most evenings rocking and feeding her to resettle her. I can't leave her with anyone and I feel like I have no life anymore, I have no breaks and no time for my DS who is starting to suffer. I'm snappy at everyone now.Sometimes I feel really angry at her and regret having her especially in the evenings. dH tries to help but she ends up getting hysterical if he tries to put her back to sleep and makes herself sick.

It just feels never ending and I don't know what I'll do when my maternity leave ends. I wish I hadn't breastfed her as I feel trapped. We've tried every bottle and she won't go for it. Not sure what I'm looking for on her, maybe reassurance it gets better?

Totally the downside to breastfeeding- the toll it takes on the mum. It will honestly get better as she eats more and has less milk! Soon you'll be down to three feeds a day, then two etc etc

Have you tried sling/carrier naps during the day? Makes a change from feeding to sleep and demands less of your body/hormones! Try putting them in before they are tired/crabby and get on with some jobs/go for a walk. If you get them falling asleep on their own in there, try getting them to fall asleep in the pushchair/pram. Feed them when they wake up! Then you can get someone else to take over for a bit. Then start to transfer that to the evening in whatever way seems to work.

Carve out time in the day for yourself in whatever way you can. Even if that's listening to music or reading/watching something while you feed. Tricky with another child to consider I know. Can you make time when you escape the baby and just have time with your older child, even if it's only 10 mins?