Am I unreasonable?

[GoVW90]

So I have a 13 year old (just) step daughter, I have no biological children.

She seems to be keen on cooking in a bikini, walking around in underwear and even coming down for dinner in underwear. Quite often will have skimpy shorts on and a bra and that’s it.

I don’t feel it’s appropriate, I wouldn’t walk around in my underwear day to day, cook or eat dinner in it. I am absolutely a wear what you are comfortable in kind of person, it just makes me really uncomfortable and seems a bit inappropriate.

If we are all getting ready to go out and people are running around it makes sense, but just day to day is a bit much for me I think.

Is this just me? Is it because she isn’t biologically mine? I have no idea.

Please be kind, this step parenting is a tricky business 🤍

Tell her she has to be clothed around the house

Thank you for your reply ☺️

My kids all just wear underwear at home. My oldest boy is 14. I don’t think it’s an issue. It’s how they are comfortable. My daughter is 10 and will wear bike shorts and a crop top.

Hmmm might just be me. Even at dinner and to cook in?

Wouldn’t mind shorts and a crop top to be fair

Why are you uncomfortable with her in less clothing? that to me is a you issue not a her issue. I really would not be sending a 13 year old the message that she needs to watch what she wears.

The onus is on the looker no her to adjust their thinking!

My brother's always just walked about the house in their boxers. If never dream of wandering around in my underwear when I was a teen. My foster sister walks around my parents house in skimpy pyjama shorts and crop tops. I think it's quite a common thing.

But, if you're not comfortable with it it's absolutely your right to say. It's your houses your rules. Also cooking in a bikini is not very safe.

I think it’s fine personally. I’d be delighted she was confident and not plagued by teenage body confidence issues.

My teenage boy walks around in his boxers at home, why wouldn't he?! It's his home, where he's comfortable. Not a public space.

What it is about your stepdaughter's partially clothed body that makes you uncomfortable? I think this is your issue, not hers, and it should stay that way. No reason why she needs to cover up any more than a bikini or a shorts/crop top combo in her own home.

Also ask yourself if it is her home why do you dictate her clothing choices ? that to me can be fundamental in figuring out why you are uncomfortable. We never had anyone policing our clothes and I haven't policed by two children's.

My only concern about cooking in a bikini would be her burning herself on her belly. I have cooked in a crop top and burnt my tum on a hot wok so speak from experience 😂 have a stupid smiley scar to show for it!

Otherwise it wouldn't bother me too much. Me and DD have been known on hot days to wear swimwear around the house, she also wears little short-and-vest jammies about in the summer & I don't see the issue.

I am on the let her wear what she's comfortable in demographic, aside from cooking in a bikini. I'd just be conscious of oil splashbacks or anything like that which could hurt her. Otherwise, if she's comfortable let her wear them I'd say. You are uncomfortable, but would you want her to feel uncomfortable instead?

I have a 14 year old and walking around in bikini and short shorts is fairly normal particularly in this weather. And the pyjamas! Speaking to friends it’s the style

having just taken her to ibiza on holiday there a whole lot of 18-25 year old walked around in just a bikini even in the evening!