Hand hold needed please

[Emmaflo]

Hi,

I just wanted to find a place to spill out how I’m feeling and ask for a hand hold.

I have 2 DC, a 5 year old and a 13 week old. I have been really struggling since my baby was born.

he is a high needs baby, cries a lot, hates the car seat, hates the pram. Needs walking around in a particular position all day long. Suffice to say my 5 year old not getting much attention and although she is golden I feel awful for her.

i am constantly worried about my baby’s development. He pays us very little attention at all regardless of what we do. If anyone tries to interact with him whilst he’s being walked around he completely ignores them. I can’t even say it’s like he’s avoiding eye contact with us, it’s like he doesn’t lift his head to look away from his feet/the floor unless the tv is on which he will stare at. I am trying so hard to engage with him with toys, singing, reading but get nothing in return. He’s not batting toys and although he can track toys, he will lose interest within a second or two and go back to staring at nothing in particular. I returned from the shops the other day and it probably took the best part of an hour before he even looked in my direction. This was whilst I was changing his nappy. I’m obviously concerned but everyone else thinks I’m mad.

for me, babies should be interested in people/faces etc? I have therefore gone down a Google rabbit hole and wonder what any of this means? It’s too early for anything to be diagnosed but can you know that something is wrong from this early on?? He screams uncontrollably at loud noises and cuddling/singing/rocking/soothing doesn’t help.

im not sure what I’m asking for really, just acknowledgment that it’s hard and that my concerns are justified?? He’s so small but something just feels so off. Has anyone ever felt the same?

I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. All babies are different, some a lot more high needs than others and if your first was not high needs, I can imagine it being a real shock if your second is. As regards your concerns about interaction, it's definitely worth calling your health visitor for some reassurance. They have milestones for certain behaviours and interactions. I really hope you get the support you need from them! Also, have you thought about a sling to carry your baby? They work really well for high needs babies. I think many babies go through a really fussy stage at this point and it seems nothing you do can soothe them but they do come out of it!

Hi Emmaflo, I will try to reply later as currently chasing my very uncoordinated 11 month old around the living room.

For now I will say that I felt exactly.the same about my son. Some of those worries disappeared, some did not. But at 13 weeks they are just soooooo tiny and so much to learn and develop still.

Is your health visitor any good?

Also feel free to message me.anytime, I think that if you have concerns what helps me.is to.reach out to medical professionals, others in the same situation and try to make.some time for myself to distract from everything.